Heretic's Altar

Suess Vows

2009-09-17T11:00:00.000-04:00

Do you take Caroline as your wife?
I do.
Will you love her in a boat?
And will you lover her near a goat?
I will love her in a boat,
I will love her near a goat.
Will you love her in the rain?
And in the dark? And on a train?
I will love her in the rain, in the dark, and on a train.
And in a car? And in a tree?
I will, she is so good, so good, you see!

So you will love her in a box.
And you will love her near a fox.
I will love her in a box,
I will love her near a fox.
And you will love her in a house.
And you will love her near a mouse.
And I will love her in a house,
And I will love her near a mouse.
And you will love her here and there.
I will love her here and there.
Say: I will love her ANYWHERE!
I will love her ANYWHERE!

Speechless

2008-08-08T16:09:00.003-04:00

I don't even know what to say about this...it's so incredibly chock full o' stupid that it's almost indecipherable. The best thing about it is that they have worded it so no one will ever be able to prove whether their "peaceful god's" hand was stayed.

From my good friends at Christian Newswire, I bring you this steaming pile of WTF...

Earnest Call to Prayer for California

Contact: Kara Silverman, 212-584-4331, ksilverman@5wpr.com

MEDIA ADVISORY, Aug. 8 /Christian Newswire/ -- In June 2008, GOD TV's Wendy Alec received a startling prophecy concerning coming judgment on the State of California, but Wendy and her husband Rory, who jointly head up GOD TV, believe this can be stayed, if Christians will gather together in steadfast prayer and intercession for this region.

The GOD TV founders are therefore urging believers across the USA and the nations to participate in a critical prayer event this weekend as the network breaks with its normal schedule to air a solemn assembly of prayer and fasting LIVE from San Francisco. Organized by the Justice House of Prayer in San Francisco, the meeting will be led by Lou Engle of TheCall and will feature prayers of intercession and repentance. The LIVE broadcast will be introduced by Rory & Wendy Alec, who will link to the event from the GOD TV studio in England.

The LIVE broadcast will air at 7pm local time (PST) / 10pm (EST) on Friday August 8, enabling DIRECTV viewers to watch on channel 365 and Sky Angel IPTV viewers to watch on channel 138. Internet viewers will be able to watch via webstreaming at www.god.tv/stream or via video on demand at www.god.tv/god. Highlights of the program will also be carried on GOD TV on Sunday August 10.

"God is looking for intercessors to stand in the gap on behalf of California and we who are believers are those intercessors," said Lou Engle. "We as the Church must repent for our attitudes toward the homosexual community and replace faultfinding with intercession. It is also our responsibility to plead the Blood of Jesus over the innocent bloodshed of millions of unborn babies and intercede for those in authority. To ignore the urgency of the times, would be to stand by as this State is thrown in front of a spiritual freight train. Now is our time to fast and pray."

Wendy Alec prophesied on June 14, 2008 that the scales of sin were so full over California that judgment could not be withheld if there was no repentance and she warned of coming devastation in San Francisco and Los Angeles, but that God would establish His own Golden Gate of repentance, revival, cleansing and holiness: "And I saw thousands of the tiniest of lights, these were intercessors meeting in small groups – piercing the heavenlies. Then the brighter lights were fellowships of churches all across California... and it was because of these ones that the judgment would be stayed and I saw a sign that read: 'MORE TIME - REVIVAL FIRE'. And the Lord said, 'A great grace shall arise from California that shall impact the north even to the state of Washington'." The full text of this prophetic word, entitled 'The Bay' can be read at www.unknownprophet.com.

"This is an extremely important event for GOD TV at this time when America faces a crucial election and especially with the current push to try and legitimize same sex marriage across the USA, starting in California," said Wendy Alec, who is the director of television at GOD TV. "It has been said: 'As San Francisco goes, so goes California and as California goes, so goes the nation'. There has never been a more crucial time for Christians across the USA to pray into this situation and we believe we can gain the prayer support of millions more as we air this wake-up call to believers on GOD TV around the world."

GOD TV chief executive, Rory Alec said he looked forward to welcoming viewers to the LIVE broadcast. "According to Scripture, God doesn't do anything without first telling His servants," he said, quoting Amos 3:7, "so that they can sound the alarm as they are led of the Lord. GOD TV has been raised up as an extraordinary prophetic platform for this time - with a powerful ability to rally the Body of Christ like never before and now is the time to sound the alarm in San Francisco. We carry a great burden in our hearts for America and feel we must pray fervently for California right now."

The Justice House of Prayer in San Francisco, takes place exactly a week before TheCall, DC, a mass gathering on the National Mall on August 16, also led by Lou Engle, where a one million-strong crowd is expected to gather at National Mall. This will also be televised LIVE by GOD TV. For more information visit: www.thecall.com or www.god.tv.

P.S. I changed all of the links to The Church of Google because I just can't bear to link to these idiots.

I'm Back and Ready To Break Somebody's Balls...Huckabee? O.K.

2008-08-07T11:46:00.003-04:00

Idiot, anti-evolution, gay-bashing, douchebag Mike Huckabee has a new website, or revamped, or something. Whatever...It's a pile of shit.

He wants us all to blog about it to support it and help spread the word...so here you go...a non-biased quote from a reliable source:

"Whatever...It's a pile of shit. "

Here are a bunch of links to anything but his worthless waste of bandwidth:

Huckabee on Gays and women’s rights: Homosexuality=Pedophilia/ Choice=Criminal

The Retard of the Month for August 2004

"...it's a lot easier to change the constitution..."

I Heart Huckabees

A video:

And a quote from the assclown himself:

“If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague. It is difficult to understand the public policy towards AIDS. It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population, and in which this deadly disease for which there is no cure is being treated as a civil rights issue instead of the true health crisis it represents.”

“In light of the extraordinary funds already being given for AIDS research, it does not seem that additional federal spending can be justified. An alternative would be to request that multimillionaire celebrities, such as Elizabeth Taylor (,) Madonna and others who are pushing for more AIDS funding be encouraged to give out of their own personal treasuries increased amounts for AIDS research.”

But just to show that he isn't all bad...He has done a lot for keeping music education in schools (just not science, I guess...there I go with the bashing, again) and won an award by the National Association of Music Merchants (NAMM), which is not so horrible.

What a Shitty Anniversary...

2008-07-30T13:28:00.003-04:00

"What if our republic were now shattered?" wrote the Rev. M. R. Watkinson to Secretary of the Treasury Salmon Portland Chase on Nov. 13, 1861. "Would not antiquaries of succeeding centuries reason from our past that we were heathen nation?"

Apparently that is what convinced Mr. Chase to order the printing of "In God We Trust" on all of our nation's currency...Today, July 30th, we celebrate the adoption of "In God We Trust" as our national motto! Hooray!

Quivering in fear from the Red Menace and Sen. Joe McCarthy's kill all the commies campaign, President Dwight Eisenhower decided to simultaneously spit on the constitution, much like Chase, and declare God-fearing Americans as apparently being better than the Soviet Atheists (because Jesus likes to beat up lousy, godless pinko bastards).

Don't get me wrong, I much prefer democracy to oppressive dictatorship but, pulling some magical deity out of the sky and placing him on "our" side is just kind of weird. The idea that the US could claim God as it's own is just as ridiculous as the idea that the US can claim The Borg as a legitimate threat to our national security.

July 30th should be a day of mourning to all of us who claim to love freedom, the Constitution and our country. Does everyone remember the original national motto?

E pluribus unum...Out of many, one. Much more civilized isn't it? Even though it's in a heathen language and predates the "In God We Trust" bullshit and it's what the founding fathers chose and it's secular (like the constitution) and it includes EVERYONE!

Shit! It's enough to drive me nuts...it should be driving everyone nuts...I will say it again:

The United States of America Was Not Founded As a Christian Nation.

Atheist Ethicist has a good essay about this.

Flood of Biblical Proportions In Our House!

2008-07-25T08:58:00.004-04:00

Noah would be scared...

I promised that I would write about my Mother's faith yesterday...well, the house decided to flood instead. Right now there are 16 really, really, incredibly noisy fans running. Floors are being ripped up and it's generally just a bad time to be in this house. It's beyond annoying.

So, I promise that, as soon as I can hear myself think again, I will bring you some more of my gold-plated writing.

Thanks for your patience dear reader(s)(?)...

Bush's New Drinkin' Buddy

2008-07-23T16:03:00.003-04:00

What...A...Douche!

Cute...Asshole

I don't even have anything to say.

The Faith of My Father's...Oh, And Mom, Too Pt. 1

2008-07-23T13:28:00.008-04:00

Dad

At last a look behind the curtain...My parents and their beliefs at least, how I see them. I was inspired to write this post after reading a Christian's response to the "Atheist 13" from The Atheist Blogger. One question in particular, in answering the question about the one person you wish you could convert. He answered, "My Dad." That got me thinking.

My immediate family is pretty darn close. There was a time in the 90's where we really weren't...at least I wasn't...and I do feel a little guilty about that. But, since then we have come back together and just two weekends ago had an enormous crab feast where my sister and I played my parents' wedding song for them and a good time was had by all. There was also the formal introduction (if you could call it formal) and welcome of those who will be the newest additions to our family, the Heretincess's Parents and brother. All in all, it was a pretty sweet weekend, went to a Phillies game, did some tailgating, and we were able to see my Great-Grandmother, who was as charming and graceful as ever...She also happened to be the one that decided to pass off her 76 year old engagement ring to my bride-to-be (it always makes her cry to think about it...Heretincess, not Great-Grandmother.)

On to the meat of this post. My Dad and I have had our chats about Christianity, Spirituality and the like and I feel pretty comfortable in my understanding of his world view. A designer of sprawling and intricate chemical engineering facilities, the man has never been short on logic. He instantly casts doubt on all things supernatural although, the two of us do still enjoy all of the crappy Sci-Fi junk we can get our hands on...that and The Simpsons.

Growing up we never really talked about religion. We just kind of went to church for more of a social networking group than to be with like minded believers. My parents did not baptize me as a baby, they waited until me and my siblings were old enough, in their eyes, to have made the decision on our own...A philosophy that still today, I hold up as one of my parents best decisions...even if it may have been a bit of a premature decision on the part of my brother and sister...more to come on that in a later post. We did get "dragged" to church on some Sundays, as I am sure most kids in this country have been. I don't resent my parents for this...They simply did not know any better. Since we have all been separated by miles, mountains, rivers, and streams, my Dad has told me of some regrets he feels. "Forcing" us to go to church being one of them.

My Dad will not identify himself as a Christian, anymore. He doesn't identify with any religion. He seems to be the happiest man in the world. When we talk about afterlife, it is in less tangible terms than Heaven and Hell, God and Satan. We talk about the viability of a soul (another post in the working) and the possibility of an afterlife or the less glamorous rotting in the ground.

Given what he has had to do for his family, it's no surprise that at this point, he is the happiest man alive...again, more on that later.

When my brother was younger, about 7 years old, he was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. My Dad was floored and desperate. Like many others in his predicament have in the past and most assuredly will in the future, he offered up a little prayer...something along these lines:

"God, I don't know what to do. My son has just been given a horrible diagnosis for a horrible disease. I don't know what kind of being you are but, if you will spare my son of this disease, I will give to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation for the rest of my life."

The second batch of test results came back revealing a really bad case of asthma coupled with some pretty serious allergies to airborne particles and a few other, not-so-terminal, problems...Which, coupled together I suppose gave a false positive, I'm a bit sketchy on the actual details of the tests. To this day, my Father still gives to that foundation, every year, and refuses to take the tax write-off that comes with it.

He won't come out and acknowledge that there was a mysterious man in the sky that instead of one horrific disease decided to give my brother a series of lesser afflictions. Deep down I believe that my Dad does not credit any of this to God. He jokes about it now saying things like, "Well I just have to hedge my bets."

I have a really hard time believing that my logical, reasonable, smart Father would believe in all of that junk. He likes doing all kinds of stuff with his church friends. He volunteers at a homeless shelter whenever he can. He mows the old ladies' grass. It seems that his least favorite thing about church is, well church. More than once he's told me how uncomfortable it makes him. Especially when the pastor starts talking about hell and how horrible it's punishments are just for not believing in Jesus.

Finally, he seems to be one of the very few people on this Earth who can put the religion question completely out of his mind. It's a trait that I envy. It seems that I am always thinking about religions and things of that nature. I say good for him. The man has never bought a single thing just for himself. He is the embodiment of selflessness.

It would be a far better world if their were more of him in it than people like me or James Dobson.

Tomorrow, hopefully, Mom's side!

P.S. Take your kids fishing. While we were up visiting, my lady went out doing wedding stuff and Dad and I sat on a pier and fished for five hours. We didn't catch anything but, it was another one of those father-son bonding moments that continue throughout our lives. It brought back floods of forgotten memories of all of the old fishing spots we would frequent. We weren't the only father-son team, either. Take Me Fishing

Any Proselytizing Here? Sir, No Sir!

2008-07-23T12:13:00.003-04:00

Yeah...bullshit. From that venerated news source OneNewsNow.com:

No Proselytizing Seen In Military Leaders

An evangelical Army chaplain says he has seen no evidence to support the claims brought by an anti-Christian organization of a pattern of discrimination against non-Christians in the military.

How cute. An evangelical saying that other evangelicals aren't doing anything wrong! It's about time those guys all banded together...a little solidarity is just what they needed.

The anti-Christian organization? It just so happens to be the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, which I suppose is also anti-Jew, anti-Muslim, anti-Buddhist, anti-Wiccan, anti-Scientologist, anti-Pastafarian, anti-Zoroastrian, etc...They are the evil bastards representing Jeremy Hall.

The Chaplin is Lt. Colonel Tom Wheatley and this guy is a piece of work. One measly week ago he appeared in another One News Now article lamenting the idea that US Army Officers can't speak freely about their faith which, to me, suggests that they try to proselytize...or at least, really, really want to. Chaplin Lt. Colonel Tom Wheatley...I suppose he feels "muzzled" as well?

Lt. Tom explains claims of Army evangelism:

"Say you have a fellow soldier who is a strong Christian -- they might give a fellow soldier a hard time who professes to be atheist or maybe a different faith group."

Now don't you all feel better?

"Support Our Troops"

2008-07-23T10:54:00.003-04:00

A story from Pharyngula...A disabled vet getting screwed by the country he so valiantly served. This should make all of us ashamed. This should be sent to your congressmen. This should be printed out and stuck on the windshield of every massive SUV with a magnetic yellow ribbon and Jesus fish slapped on the back. This is just disgusting...BrokenSoldier's Story:

This is a request for help. Disabled veterans are being treated as if they are a burden on the government's checkbook, and the government is getting away with it, mainly because the situation is so far out of the public's collective eye that the military can quite effectively sweep it under the rug. Politicians are using our sacrifices as political capital in front of the nation, while the Army medical system turns around to our face and disdainfully treats us as if we are asking for something we do not deserve. All we want is the care we were promised, and all we are getting is organized resistance from the military medical bureaucracy. In some cases, this resistance amounts to the pure manipulation - and even alteration - of the medical regulations, for the sole purpose of reducing the amount of money the Army has to pay disabled vets upon their separation. I have turned to this kind of appeal, frankly, because I am out of options. I believe that the only thing that can even begin to fix a problem such as this one is true exposure to the bright lights of public scrutiny.

When wounded soldiers comes home, they have to go through an evaluation process in which a panel of Army doctors determines what their final disability rating will be. If they decide that the soldier rates less than 30%, then they can separate that soldier with merely a severance check, and never dole out another dollar to him or her again. Should the rating be above 30%, the Army is required to medically retire that soldier, and send him or her a monthly check after they leave the service. In principle, this makes sense. But this is being abused by those doctors, in that they are intentionally low-balling wounded vets in order to get them under the 30% ceiling and get them out, for obvious reasons of saving money. Just in my case alone, I have seen doctors lie on official reports about what I told them, make childishly snide comments about the appeals that I have written to the Physician Evaluation Board (PEB), and one doctor even suggested that a previous diagnosis was invalid simply because I was "fine" on the day he saw me. (And I have proof - to include hard copies of documents showing the offenses.) This does not stop with the low-level doctors, by any means. The Army PEBs operate on instructions given to them by their command, and one in particular is very telling. Since soldiers began coming home with serious concussion injuries, the Army medical community has seen fit to publish instructions to its PEBs concerning certain ratings and how they are to be 'interpreted' pertaining to veterans' disability claims. One of them that I ran directly into deals with the occurrence of migraine headaches, which many veterans with concussion injuries suffer from, and how they are to be viewed. The schedule that lists ratings that are to be applied states that for a 50% rating, migraines must meet the frequency requirement of at least two pper month, and the severity must be prostrating. After veterans began receiving this rating for their complications from IED-induced concussions, an instruction to physicians was published informing them that from then on, the word 'prostrating' was not to be interpreted as it is defined, but rather for migraines to be considered prostrating for rating purposes, the soldier must have stopped and sought immediate, emergency medical attention. Due to the fact that it is very difficult for someone laying prostrate from a migraine to get up and make it to the ER, you can imagine how well this worked in reducing the number of veterans that received disability ratings for their migraines.

And aside from the failings of the rating process, once the soldier is done with that, then there is the incompetent bureaucracy within the ranks of those handling retired service members to deal with. I was retired in January, but did not see a single cent of my retirement money until June. And when it did begin, taxes were being deducted - which shouldn't happen, because combat wounded vets get tax exemption from their disability checks. After getting that fixed, I recently discovered that I have absolutely no medical coverage whatsoever - which I found out while trying to get my prescriptions filled - because my retirement documents never got to the agency responsible for administering my care as a medical retiree. The incompetence of those that handled my retirement file ensured that the necessary paperwork failed to reach almost all of the necessary agencies. And I am by no means the only one this type of injustice is happening to, but instead it is a widespread occurrence. The reason for this is that once the soldier leaves the service and begins the fight for his or her benefits, it is simply that soldier against the entire framework of the Army bureaucracy, and that is far from a fair fight. (They do allow you a liaison in order to to help you navigate the system, but if mine was any indication, this is more of a burden than a help - in asking her to participate in a conference call to discuss why I disagreed with my initial rating of 10%, she resisted and actually said to me, "I'm not here to hold your hand through this.") So I have ended up in a position quite familiar to veterans - broke, living with my parents, in debt up to my ears from the months without income, and having no consistent medical coverage.

So, if you read through this and it seems wrong to you, especially if it makes you a bit angry, then I'm asking for your help. The only thing that will fix this problem is to shine a spotlight on what is happening, because once that happens, the freedom of action that the Army medical community has enjoyed in bullying the wounded soldiers applying for disability will be gone. Once the public is cognizant of exactly what has been done to the veterans the government so profusely praises for their sacrifice, their hypocrisy will be laid bare. If you know anyone - journalist or not - that will take this story and tell it to the public, please let me know. The above injustices are only the tip of the iceberg, even in my case, and I have documentation of many more transgressions.

A disabled vet has fought far too much already to have to continue to fight with their own government like this when they get home. In this case, it is the soldier who is looking to citizen for help with this fight. -via Pharyngula

Want to help? Email Gary E. Ford or Send It To Your Congressmen.

McCain is to Iraq as Bush is to The Alphabet (hint: Clueless)

2008-07-19T13:42:00.003-04:00

Oops! McCain! Idiot! Bush! Moron!

Iraqi foreign policy fail:

Asked in an interview with German news magazine Der Spiegel of when he would like to see American forces leave Iraq, Maliki said: “As soon as possible, as far as we’re concerned.” He then added that “Obama is right when he talks about 16 months. Assuming that positive developments continue, this is about the same time period that corresponds to our wishes.” -via The Hill

Anything you would like to say John?

"The surge is working," McCain declared emphatically in the CNN interview...

Really? I'm sure your colleagues in Iraq are just pissing themselves with joy over that fact...Mr. Maliki?

The Iraqi prime minister argued that the troop surge was not the main reason that violence in his country has been curbed.

Oops...again.
And finally, the Estradaesque corrupt Prime Minister has some wisdom to share with all of us about "timetables":

Maliki said the Bush administration has “had trouble agreeing to a concrete timetable for withdrawal, because they feel it would appear tantamount to an admission of defeat.”
“But that isn't the case at all. If we come to an agreement, it is not evidence of a defeat, but of a victory, of a severe blow we have inflicted on al-Qaeda and the militias,” he stated.

Priceless...

More Excuses For Not Writing

2008-07-19T09:53:00.001-04:00

Sorry, everyone. I've been floored with really bad back spasms since we returned from Maryland...I'll try and get back on the blasphemy track soon...pray for my back, heh.

The Big Wheel Keeps On Spinnin'

2008-07-13T09:59:00.003-04:00

Here's a mindless post for you...enjoy...Pearls Before Swine (It's wicked relevant.):

Even Heretics Need Family

2008-07-11T17:53:00.003-04:00

Here I am, typing from my parents' brand new, beautiful laptop. I am just a little jealous. Except it's loaded with Vista, so it's not that great.

I am in Maryland, The Old Line State. I love Maryland. It's a beautiful state, lush and green and full of natural diversity. Not to mention the home of the worst battle in the history of our country.

Enough about that, I just wanted to write a quick note to my small group of loyal, for some reason, readers to let you know that I will most likely be away from computers and stuff for the next few days. We are going to a Phillies game tomorrow, crab feast (MD Blue Claw...King of Crabs) on Sunday, Jersey Shore on Monday, drive home on Tuesday. So...If anything important or interesting happens in the world of me hating religion in the next few days, I will try and post.

While we are in Philadelphia tomorrow I may try to head up and see that sign that all the fundies are whining about.

And just because it is Friday and I said I would be bringing back the Ray-Bashing...Hey Comfort! ... The middle finger I'm holding up to the screen right now is for you, buddy...and your mustache makes you look less like Einstein and more like a Village Person...douche.

Have a good weekend!

Proper Civil Discourse With Jehovah's Witnesses

2008-07-09T12:15:00.004-04:00

The dogs have started to bark. Someone (or some thing) has approached the front door. I, as usual for this time of day, am sitting at the computer, catching up on the day's news and listening to all manner of "evil" music. Startled, I leave the desk and hurry to the door thinking that perhaps the FedEx man is here with an early wedding present. How wrong I am...

I open the door to reveal one of the most hideous sites I have ever seen. Standing before me in all their "Sunday's Best" glory are two women. They smell of cheap Wal-Mart perfume. I glance down at their hands to see bibles draped with copies of, brace yourself, The Watchtower. (da da dah-eh-ah-ah-ah-ah) "Oh, it's gonna be like dis," I thought to myself.

The dogs are going nuts, barking and yelping. Usually, I would try to stop them so I could hear what the person at the door was about to say...right. Above the din one of them says, "Oh my, what pretty dogs." It is this offensive affront that enrages me.

(A word to my newer readers: I dislike religious people publicly proselytizing in general, and bringing it in to my neighborhood is infuriating...usually the Heretincess catches it at the door before I get the chance to voice my opinions. When they open their mouths and let some letters and sounds fall out, I absolve myself of any responsibility for what I may say next. That being said, the following may be considered "rude" if taken out of context. So, please keep in mind that they are Jehovah's Witnesses trespassing on my property and trespassing in my neighborhood (there is a pretty wooden sign at the entrance to this neighborhood that plainly says, "NO SOLICITING.")

I look at the one dressed in a white dress with pretty little generic annoying flowers and smile. It's a big smile, one that can be interpreted as, "How lovely it is to see you," or, "Oh, you gonna gettit now!" (psst...guess which one I am going for.) I say, "The Watchtower?"

"Yes, yes it is," is the confused response. They both smile politely and approach the door a few more inches. I open the door, still smiling, and step out.

"Get the fuck off of my porch and out of my driveway and out of my neighborhood, now" I calmly say, "You picked the absolute wrong house to witness to today. Now take your propaganda, bibles, lies, and bullshit out of this neighborhood. There is a sign at the top of the hill that says, 'No Soliciting,' that includes soliciting people with your religious magazines and filth. Where is your car, where are you parked?"

"Right up the road," they reply in a fashion that is hard to determine...it's somewhere between afraid and defiant, polite and bemused.

I follow them, briskly, out of the driveway and on to the sidewalk. I ask, "Is that your car, the white one?"

"Yes, we're leaving."

Aggravated by how long it is taking them to get away from my house I say, "Go now! Don't stop at any of my neighbor's houses, they don't need your bullshit. If you don't leave right now I will call the police." I would never call the police in a small town like this, most likely, I would be the one who ends up in cuffs.

I call the Heretincess to let her know what has happened, give her a laugh and to make them wonder who I would be talking to while standing in the middle of the road watching them in their car. They sit in their car and, magically, there are now four of them and I feel a little less guilty about yelling at two women because the two in the front seats are men. It takes them about five full minutes of sitting in the car before they actually drive off. I suppose they were praying for me, or whatever.

I make sure to watch them the entire way up the hill. They are gone now and the dogs have calmed down.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is probably the wrong way to deal with door-knockers but, it is the best way to make yourself feel good. I feel pretty happy right now. Not in that "I'm a big man for yelling at chicks" way but in that "I made a stand here, on my property, for my right not to be assaulted with religious garbage in my home" way. I feel good that no more of my neighbors will have to deal with these people and I feel good that I have good, loud watchdogs rather than flimsy, not-even-worth-kindling Watchtowers.

Ray, You Twat!

2008-07-09T00:43:00.002-04:00

If Ray "Hold This Banana For Me" Comfort is Einstein then that makes me Jesus H. Fucking Christ.

That is all.

Idiot.

Return of Ray Bashing! Yay!

2008-07-05T00:24:00.004-04:00

Inspired by a new reader pointing out that Heretic's Altar is the #1 hit when you Google "Ray Comfort is retarded," I am bringing back my Ray-Bashing posts. I'll try to hit this place with at least one a week. The hard part is trying to figure out which is the worst of Ray's atrocities against reason and language each week. Seriously, this guy is that bad. Here you go, enjoy:

Dear Ray,

Thanks for telling all of us stupid atheists what we know...or what you think we know...or what you say we can't possibly know...or what you are pretty sure we aren't certain of...or...you see where this kind of "reasoning" is going right? It's all nonsense, Mr. Comfort. To refresh everyone's memories, here is what one of your recent posts says:

As a professing atheist, you can’t be "sure" of anything. You don’t know that there is no God. You don’t know if Hell is a reality. All you have is your beliefs (faith) that God and Hell don’t exist. You have faith in what you believe. You can’t be sure that the sky is blue (it’s not), or that the sun rises (it doesn’t). You don’t know for certain that the blue or the red that you see is actually the same colors that others see. You don’t know if evolution is true, or even if a rock is "hard," because you have no concrete definition of what "hard" is, other than what a dictionary tells you and what you have come to believe from the beliefs of others. For all you know, you might be insane and have twisted perceptions of what others see as reality. That’s why knowing God is such a wonderful thing. It’s because He knows the thoughts of everyone that has ever existed, and He is ever-present on every planet to determine if there are or are not green leprechauns.

First of all, genius, I don't know one single atheist worth his/her salt that takes anything for granted because that is what one out-dated book (with fifty+ different translations over millenia) has told them. You run around in circles trying to...hmm I don't want to use the word "prove" here because nothing you have ever said amounts to proof of anything but your own pathetic grasp of humanity...You run around in circles trying to convince people that an optical illusion is proof that nothing is true but your bible. You use some pre-school style philosophy to try and tell us that what we see may not be what we see. And you do all of this without ever considering your own glaring contradictions that everything you say applies to your OWN FUCKING BIBLE! Wow, someone show me a louder, more self-deluded and annoying street preacher...I just don't believe it's possible.

Please, Ray, put down the Kool-Aid and tell me how one self-contradictary book can be "true," while things like rocks being hard can be subject to interpretation. If I wouldn't get arrested for it, I would love to show you what the "concrete definition of 'hard' is," preferably with concrete.

Finally, Ray Comfort, aside from being the true definition of a religious nutcase (yeah "true definition," I said it), you have made one of the same tired old arguments that atheists are sick of hearing...For some reason (there I go using that "R" word around your name again), all your type seem to think that the burden of proof rests with us. *sigh* We are not trying to prove anything fantastic. We are not positing the existence of the supernatural. We learn. We ask questions. We never take the first or easiest answer as truth. We ask more questions of more sources and are never satisfied with "the gist of things."

Real atheists do not deal in absolutes when it comes to things outside of our understanding. I have written and read plenty of poetry and I can absolutely say that a sonnet is fourteen lines of prose. Wow...I do know something. Here is something I cannot absolutely say: Ray Comfort is a retarded monkey-man with half of a brain. I just don't have your IQ scores, MRIs or genetic sequence...but I can guess...I suppose that makes it something I can take on faith, right?

One more thing (I know I wrote "Finally" earlier, but I wasn't absolutely finished), "For all you know, you might be insane and have twisted perceptions of what others see as reality." If I could, I would pray to your god that this be the case and that you are just a psychotically induced delusion...But, I don't have much faith in that.

Cuss-o-Meter

2008-07-03T15:50:00.003-04:00

Well fucking hell...This shit is crazy, I really fuckin' thought I cussed a shitload more in these rants than what this bullshit meter assclown thing says...oh-cocksucking-well...here's my fucking girly and piss poor pathetic result.

(Although, some may say my lack of swearing elevates my posts above all of the others who just cuss and insult people incessantly...fucking retards!)

Created by OnePlusYou

Ok, You People Are Idiots

2008-07-03T12:24:00.003-04:00

IT'S A FUCKING PUPPY! These are the things that make it completely unrealistic to take anything that fundamentalists (of any religion) seriously. Maybe they should have instead sent a postcard with a beheaded journalist on it...obviously that's not as offensive as a puppy. Here's the story:

Muslims in the Scottish district of Tayside are outraged by the appearance of a wide-eyed, 6-week-old puppy on postcards distributed by the local police force, according to the Daily Mail.

Postcards showing police dog-in-training Rebel, a German shepherd born in early December, are causing a furor among the region’s Muslims who believe dogs are "ritually unclean," the Daily Mail reports.

The cute cards were meant to notify locals of a new telephone number for non-emergency phone calls but instead have become a flashpoint for a clash of cultures. Shopkeepers are refusing to display the offending ad and a Dundee city councilor is calling for an investigation.

"My concern was that it's not welcomed by all communities, with the dog on the cards," said Dundee councilor Mohammed Asif, according to the report.

The Tayside police force said the police puppy, the force’s "newest recruit," was not intended to cause offense.

"His incredible worldwide popularity — he has attracted record visitor numbers to our Web site — led us to believe Rebel could play a starring role in the promotion of our non-emergency number," said a police spokesperson.

Sickening. Perhaps the best thing to do is to just leave the police out of these neighborhoods all together...I mean, we wouldn't want to accidentally offend anyone. So Scotland, do your duty and stop offending moronic islamic fundies by patrolling their neighborhoods.

Thanks to Commenter "Christopher" on Daylight Atheism.

Woo! 50 Posts! Here's Something Funny For You...

2008-07-01T16:22:00.002-04:00

"I do believe that the Bible is banned, under the plain language of this new statute," said Steve Crampton, general counsel of Liberty Counsel, a national pro- family litigation organization.

Well it's about freakin' time. And of course, we all knew that those ne'er-do-well left wingers would ban the bible first! In fact, looking through Colorado's pending legislation, there isn't a single other book up for banning!

Steve Crampton: You are an asshat. You are an alarmist psychopath with a persecution complex. You need to be medicated, and quickly.

What the evangelofascists are complaining about this time is Colorado SB 200 a bill signed into law which would curtail public discrimination of gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, and transgendered individuals. There's a lot more to it than that but, the religiotards are up in arms about a line in there that says something about it being illegal to publicly distribute stuff that bashes those people. Apparently they think that means that you can't have a bible in Colorado anymore.

Sigh...it gets tiring having to correct people all day. Let me tell you all something, I've mentioned it before, I am not a college educated man. I read a lot but, never had any sort of formal education (outside of an apprenticeship -- some other day I'll talk about that) beyond high school...And even I can figure this shit out!

Right here...Section 1 (that means the very first thing they wrote Steve) says:

SECTION 1. Legislative declaration. The general assembly hereby finds, determines, and declares that nothing in this act is intended to impede or otherwise limit the protections contained in section 4 of article II of the state constitution concerning the free exercise and enjoyment of religious profession and worship.

NOTHING IN THIS ACT IS INTENDED TO IMPEDE OR OTHERWISE LIMIT THE PROTECTIONS...CONCERNING THE FREE EXERCISE AND "ENJOYMENT" OF RELIGIOUS PROFESSION AND WORSHIP.

Learn to fucking read you twat! Christ, you people piss me off so bad that all I can do is laugh. You just make yourselves look worse and worse everytime you write something down or open your bile filed mouths. Knock it off or one of these days something is going to shut your mouth for you...and it's not going to be a piece of legal legislation that specifically says in it's first goddamned sentence that it's exactly not going to do exactly what you are saying it is doing!

P.S. This is actually my 51st post...I forgot to mention it in my previous post...so...yeah...

Gay People Will Kill Your Children...

2008-07-01T15:22:00.004-04:00

Check out this headline via Christian Newswire:

Pro-Homosexual Researchers Conceal Findings Relevant to Same-Sex Marriage Debate: Openly Homosexual Parents Influence Sexuality of Children

Pro-Homosexual Researchers? Whatev...

I won't paste the whole article for you here but, if you want to read it you can do so HERE. The big point that is making them all squirmy in their pulpits is the fact that openly gay parents may influence their children to experiment with homosexuality.

Well, run for the hills!

I wonder why there was no mention of the study that showed how openly heterosexual parents influenced their youngins to experiment with heterosexuality...Oh...Yeah, there was no study because it's goddamned ridiculous!

Kids emulate adults up to a certain age, then loads of them rebel against those same adults. So, if it will make the fundies undies become unbunched I will relate a short story to you about my emulation and consequential rebellion.

My dad was always very strict about the drug use thing. My dad also disliked Pink Floyd and Anthrax. (That Anthrax video kicks some serious assssss.) During my younger years, say from infancy to 14 I was also against drug use and stayed away from nefarious bands like Pink Floyd and Anthrax. And then for some reason, the rebel came out of hiding. I dove headfirst into drugs, Pink Floyd, Anthrax and all sorts of other "bad" things...Things my dad thought were bad. I realized that I really liked drugs, Pink Floyd and all sorts of other "bad" things.

Well, it's no surprise that I outgrew the drugs (I like my brain, sometimes). I wouldn't consider myself "anti-drug" but, I just don't do it anymore. I still love Pink Floyd and Anthrax. I'm not my Dad nor am I the antithesis of my father. I took things from him, from my mother, from friends, teachers, pastors, cousins, aunts & uncles, and pretty much anyone that I had decent conversations with. As far as I am concerned that is what has made me the person I am today.

Parents have a lot of pull in how their children turn out, but being influential in their sexuality is minimal, at most. Any sane person knows...let me stress that: Any sane person knows that you can't control who you are attracted to any more than you can change the color of your eyes.

So, to Christian Newswire: Take your homophobic half-science and shove it up your ass...make sure you don't enjoy it though, you never know where that kind of influence can lead!

God Is Good, God Is Sadistic...Let Us Thank Him For Our Cancer

2008-07-01T13:09:00.004-04:00

This has to be one of the worst xtian arguments against the "If god is so wonderful and benevolent, why does it allow/cause bad things happen?" question. It's from a supposed chat room conversation where a bunch of mean and nasty atheists were ganging up on poor Matt Slick...More xtian persecution, shame on you atheists!

Matt Slick is some fundie apologetic who refuses to post under his own name outside of the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry (CARM) sites, boards and chat room, "This low profile is so impersonators can be easily spotted." Here are some excerpts from this "chat" interlaced with my cunning and stunning criticism.

Vic: God cannot be good if he allows people to get sick with cancer because cancer is bad and God is supposed to be good.
Matt: So... why is it that God is NOT supposed to make us sick or something? I mean, why not? Maybe he has a good reason. Maybe there is a good in it. Then again, maybe this is just what the world is like with sin in it. Besides, God doesn't owe me or you anything.

Right from the start the character known as "Vic" sounds forced and false. I love the whole idea that disease and death are consequences of sin. So that absolves god of any wrong doing...Even though god is the one who, through ridiculous measures, set up the whole "sin" thing.

Vic: God, who is our father, should not do bad things to us, such as give us cancer.
Matt: oh.... Exodus 4:11 is a problem for you then. It says in there that God makes the eye blind, the ear deaf, etc.
Phil: Matt, do you really think anyone here accepts that moldy text created by smelly sheep herders?
Matt: I don't know.... is it an a priori that the texts are not reliable?

*ahem* What? Using old testament scripture to justify the "new" god isn't supposed to happen anymore, right? Dobson?

Matt: The Bible is historically accurate, powerful, prophetic, etc. You aren't answering my question.... I see God as good... I don't understand what he does sometimes. But it does not change his nature. He is infinitely above me and permits things to happen. I DO take some things on faith.

Ugh...Historically accurate it surely is not. Powerful only if you use it as kindling. Prophesy is bullshit. Next!

Phil: Vick: Since God is beyond any human judgment, it really doesn't matter to a Christian. God can hurt anyone he/she/it wants to, and well, that's tough.
Matt: Phil. That is correct.

*head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk* 'Scuse me while I mash my keyboard asd vjkl ;SWwo asdos2 d234\][`/

...Meet Judy:

Judy: Matt, you cannot prove God. If you could, then I would want nothing to do with whatever "god" you prove.

Sweet...I like Judy.

Phil: Matt, Judy is a Christian, by the way.
Judy: There you go blowing my cover again.

Fuck You Judy!

Vic: Matt, are the miraculous events witnessed by Hindus the result of Aryan Gods, or the Hebrew Gods?
Matt: They are demonic miracles. Jesus stated that the ungodly can perform miracles... but not by the power of God.
Vic: Matt, the Hindu gods being demons then?
Matt: Vic, yes.
Phil: Vic, Well, any other god would be a demon, or a mere human creation, apparently.

Matt: Phil. That is correct.

*Clap Clap* Way to end it on a high note there, Matt. He pretty much just said that all gods are either demons or man-made. All, that is, except for his twisted god. It's funny sometimes to read these "christian tools for talking to atheists" types of posts but, when you step back you can see the sinister motives behind the arguments and the men who would make these arguments.

I don't respect religion. I will never give a blanket respect to an unfounded set of outmoded and outdated rules to live by. I will not say, "I respect your beliefs," just because it's the polite thing to do. And finally, I will not politely ask xtian witnesses who show up on my front porch to leave, no, I will chase them down the street, screaming and cursing, all the way up the hill to the entrance of our neighborhood and the big wooden sign that says "No Soliciting." Then I will spank them with it, fraternity pledge style.

P.S. Matt Slick? Sounds like an 80's porn star wannabe name. I know that we can't choose our names but, maybe Matthew Slick...That at least sounds a tad less dirty.

Homosexual Athletes?!

2008-06-30T15:39:00.003-04:00

This is too funny not to share...Seriously...wtf?

Via Right Wing Watch:

June 30, 2008

The Dangers of Auto-Replace

In addition to blocking traffic from websites they don’t like, it looks like the web-geniuses behind the American Family Association’s OneNewsNow site have a few other tricks up their sleeves, such as automatically replacing any use of the word “gay” with the word “homosexual” in any of the AP stories they run … leading to instances in which proper names are reformatted to meet their ridiculous standard, such as this article about sprinter Tyson Gay winning the 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials in which he is renamed “Tyson Homosexual”:

Though AFA has since corrected its article, it looks like this auto-replace feature has been embarrassing them for quite some time now:

And while they may have fixed this particular instance, it looks like they haven't gone back through their archives and corrected other articles where this happened, such as this article where professional basketball player Rudy Gay is referred to as "Rudy Homosexual."

Wedding Ink...

2008-06-29T22:39:00.003-04:00

As you may very well know, the Heretincess and I are going to be married soon (see countdown clock up and to the right)! We are now checking out wedding favors for our guests and have stumbled upon some pretty interesting things like personalized seed cards and mint tins. Instead of our guests throwing seeds, they will be able to plant them...I think the Park Rangers would prefer that.

Here's where we are kind of stuck...tattoos. We both have a few tattoos, me more so than her, and want to get something original for our wedding. We have a few ideas and so far the front runner is a Mobius Strip with the date, time, and GPS coordinates written on it. We may get them behind our ears, on our foot, possibly on our right wrist, our left wrists are already taken.

Here's my request for anyone who may read this thing: Help us come up with original ideas, it's not really a contest...I'm just trying to get some inspiration. Although, if someone were to submit some kick ass designs...something that really blew me away...I may send that someone something special...A surprise!

Clock's ticking!

Thanks,
Parker

Proper Use Of Xtian Propaganda

2008-06-29T21:23:00.008-04:00

Recently, my lady pointed out these christian propaganda pamphlets:
They are little booklets there to let all of us know which local businesses can be trusted...because you can always trust a christian. Anyway, I thought of something more useful for them:
I noticed that my grocer, like so many others, have recycling bins right inside the front doors:
Being a good citizen of the planet Earth, I usually try to recycle all of the filthy garbage that I can. Everything from PBR bottles to milk cartons to newspapers to tired old propaganda!Bye, bye! To anyone who thinks this is mean...they were free after all.

On the plus side I have a whole host of new businesses to add to my boycott list so, move over Chick-Fil-A! After further inspection "a whole host of new businesses" may be overstating the facts...try like 10 businesses.

Here are a few other things that annoy me about this garbage (literally now):

"We are geared towards bringing the Christian business model to the rest of the world."

What the hell is the christian business model anyway? I guess I must have missed that book of the bible.

"Triangle Christian Business Network will bring visibility to your business and expose your product to thousands that visit our website as well as church websites that are affiliated with TCBN."

Not if me and my recycling bin buddies can help it! At least they don't have any members...well 10 members...hardly seems worth it to print up hundreds of these full color, glossy brochures for me to throw away. Poor bastard.

I approve and would like to encourage all of you to follow suit.

"Presbyterian Action Will Not Stand Silent blah, blah, blah..."

2008-06-29T19:44:00.005-04:00

From Christian Newswire:

"The General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) voted Friday to pave the way toward the ordination of practicing homosexual persons to the offices of deacon, elder, or minister."

Good for them but, there always has to be a blowhard with Chicken Little syndrome who is terrified of what has just occurred and must stamp his feet and throw a temper tantrum because he didn't get his way this time.

Enter Jim Berkley (right), Director of Institute on Religion & Democracy's (IRD) Presbyterian Action Committee:

"Presbyterian Action will not stand silent amid these decisions that are blatantly contrary to the Bible and to biblical morality. We lament the damage to Presbyterian congregations across the country, who still believe God's Word and intend to continue to abide by it, apart from any action of the General Assembly."

Waahh! I grew up in a Presbyterian Church and about 10-15 years ago there was another brouhaha about whether god should be known as a he or a she. A few tight-asses like Mr. Berkley got their panties all in a bunch and the General Assembly decided not to hear the arguments and let the idea die.

The people in my church reacted thusly: "God a she? Oh, that's interesting...Can we hurry this up so I can get my hands on some of Mrs. Farwell's Olive & Egg Salad sandwiches?" And that was pretty much the end of it. No one in our congregation had ever heard of the IRD, nor cared. What I'm getting at is that Presbyterians, at least in my experience, are very tolerant and very open to new ideas...no person that I had interactions with at our church, once upon a time, would be opposed to this new idea...and they shouldn't be...if god made everyone the way he wanted to make them, then it stands to reason that god made gays and lesbians as friggin' gays and lesbians.

Progressive thinking inside churches should be embraced not only by those inside the church, but by those on the outside, as well. I welcome the church's initial decision and wish them all the best in moving forward. However, I get the feeling that guys like Jim and his ilk will not let anything come of this.

There are still a few hurdles for this ammendment to make it into the Heidleberg Catechism. Anyone interested in the Presbyterian Church's parliamentary procedure should check out this link.

P.S. The church pictured above was my home church for my formative years...before my brain turned on.

A Very Special Anniversary

2008-06-27T13:04:00.003-04:00

Today, June 27, 1844, a mob charged a prison where noted Liar, Misogynist, Traitor, Psychopath, Mass Murder, and of course Mormon Inventor Joseph Smith was being held for treason and shot and killed him.

Unfortunately, they ended up martyring the son-of-a-bitch and now we have 13 year old girls married to 50 year old perverts.

From PBS:

"During the governor's absence, a mob of between one hundred and two hundred armed men-many of them from the disbanded Warsaw militia-gathered in late afternoon, blackened their faces with mud and gunpowder, and then stormed the jail. In less than two minutes, they overcame feigned resistance from the Greys, rushed upstairs, and fired through the closed door. Hyrum, shot first, died instantly. John Taylor, an apostle, tried to escape out a window and was shot five times, but survived to later become the Church's third President. Only Willard Richards, another apostle, survived unharmed. Trying to go out the window to deflect attention from the two survivors inside, Joseph Smith was hit in the chest and collarbone with two shots from the open doorway and two more from outside the window. His final words as he fell to the ground outside the jail were, "O Lord, my God!" (HC 6:618). As rumors spread that the Mormons were coming, the mob dispersed."

Makes one wonder, if he wasn't killed that day...would the insanity of Mormonism still be here today?

P.S. Yes, those are the real Joseph Smith Deathmasks in the above picture.

Dragons Are Real!

2008-06-27T10:34:00.003-04:00

I knew it...All About Creation has all the answers.

Here's the essay(?): Dragon History

It's so unbelievably ridiculous that I can't even find a place to start...so here's a random excerpt:

"...many people don't realize that paleontology (the study of past geological ages based primarily on the study of fossils) is a relatively new science. In fact, the concept of dinosaurs (giant lizards) only surfaced in its present form less than 180 years ago. Prior to that, anyone who found a large fossilized bone assumed it came from an elephant, dragon or giant. There wasn't any notion of "science" attached to these finds."

Seriously? ... Here's another gem:

"Throughout the next few decades, the first artist depictions of dinosaurs were actually comical when compared to what we can scientifically discern today. How then, do pottery, linens, cave paintings, and written descriptions of "dragons" from 2,000 to 4,000 years ago depict dinosaurs better than what science could muster in the mid-1800's?"

It just seems to drift in and out of science=good to science=bad. Science is good when it tells us what we want to hear. Science is bad when it says that dragons are not dinosaurs.

"Where are all these accounts of dragon history? Actually, let's start with the Bible, the most widely published book in history."

A Million Little Pieces was widely published...and look what happened there.

"The word "dragon" (Hebrew: tannin) is used throughout the Old Testament, and most directly translates as "sea or land monsters." In the Book of Job, the author describes the great creatures, Behemoth (Job 40) and Leviathan (Job 41). Although the latest Bible translations use the words elephant, hippo or crocodile instead of Behemoth and Leviathan, the original Hebrew and the context of the descriptions do not allow for these interpretations."

Apparently, even the infallible bible is wrong about dragons and sea monsters.

Page 2 is an article originally written in 1978 in a now defunct Creationism magazine...with no evidence the author, Lourella Rouster, says:

"I believe dragons are the reflection, sometimes embellished through retelling but mostly historical, of actual physical encounters of human beings with dinosaurs."

Well bully for you! It seems that dragon stories and the bible have some similarities "sometimes embellished through retelling." Lourella goes on to dissect the etymology of the word "dragon" and comes to this well-founded conclusion:

"The Oxford English Dictionary points out that Spakelv is derived from the Greek stem Spak meaning strong. The connection with dragons is obvious."

Obvious...yeah. Obvious, as well, is the author's scientific objectivity:

"Perhaps the earliest evidence, however, is found in a prehistoric cave at La Baume, Latrone, France. Discovered in 1940 by Siegfried Giedion, some scientists have dated the cave at 20,000 years ago (I do not accept such ancient dates)."

This is about all I can take. The site says that this article provides "proof" for dragons/dinosaurs (they are all the same to these people) living at the same time as man. Any third grader educated in public school (outside of Louisiana) knows better and could probably pick this bullshit apart. It's a shame that evangelicals don't let third graders write their material...they would probably be researched more thoroughly, at the very least.

Wedding Countdown

2008-06-27T10:29:00.003-04:00

For all who may not know...Carrie (m'lady) and I are getting married on 9/6/2008. It's going to be a completely secular wedding, and I plan on keeping everyone up to date.

I put up this countdown clock over at the upper right hand part of the page for your enjoyment. Though, I am not too pleased with the way the clock looks. So, if any of you know where I can find a better looking clock, I'd love to know.

Thanks,
Parker

Safe Haven Laws

2008-06-25T23:06:00.004-04:00

A 23 year old woman tossed her newborn in a backpack and left the baby in the trunk of her car to die...while she drove herself to a woman's center for an appointment. The staff at the center asked the woman (Shareena Bess) what happened to the baby. Shareena said she had left him in a box at a nearby hospital...which, obviously, she did not.

Safe Haven Laws are in place in many states so that "unwanted" babies do not have to die. They simply state that a new mother can anonymously leave her newborn with any number of different people, from nurses and doctors to police officers and firefighters.

While it seems that Shareena was at least partially aware of these protections (claiming she left the baby at a hospital), she did not exercise her rights. I suspect that she may not have been completely aware of what she was allowed to do with her newborn and, like many new mothers, was scared and confused.

This post lacks my usual anger, sarcasm or wrath for a reason. This is a very serious problem with a very easy solution...Education. These reluctant mothers need to be told about more than just adoption and abortion. The problem lies with the nature of their pregnancies. Many have been abandoned by the fathers, others feel they are too young and still more are afraid to tell anyone that they are pregnant.

Education can take many forms. Telling women in clinics and OB/GYN offices that Safe Haven Laws exist is a weak measure that does nothing to help the women who really need to know. So, in using things like an angry/atheist/political/jerk-ass blog to "broadcast" links and information to those who may not find it in any other place is necessary and almost obligatory.

Here is the "Help Spread the Word" page from the Safe Surrender site in North Carolina (some good downloads and flyers, etc.)

Please feel free to repost this anywhere. Use the links in your own blogs, and tell people that there are ways to keep you and your baby safe.

Thanks,
Parker

This Just Goes From Bad To Worse...

2008-06-23T17:46:00.004-04:00

...To plain idiotic.

"MINEOLA, Texas - In the windowless front rooms of a former day care center in a tiny Texas community, children as young as 5 were fed powerful painkillers they knew as "silly pills" and forced to perform sex shows for a crowd of adults." -- AP via Yahoo! News

Yeah, that's fucking disgusting and, the four kids involved are related (3 siblings, 1 aunt). The dad of the 3 (Patrick Kelly, 41) was one of the organizers.

"Mineola, about 80 miles east of Dallas, is a close-knit, conservative bean-processing town of with more than 30 churches. Residents there want to put the scandal behind them as quickly as possible."

Hurry up and sweep it under the rug as fast as possible. We can't have our town look bad.

"...the three siblings, now ages 12, 10 and 7, and their 10-year-old aunt — were trained to perform in front of an audience of 50 to 100 once a week..."

In a southern town of 5100 nothing goes unnoticed...especially a gathering of 50-100 men once a week.

"Permanent custody of the three siblings was given to John and Margie Cantrell."

Oh, well that's good. The children should be safe now...oops:

"This week, prosecutors in California charged John Cantrell with sexually assaulting a child in the state 18 years ago. Margie Cantrell said her husband is innocent."

What the fuck, Texas?! Ya'll is real good-like at electocutin' retards but, you can't freaking keep sexually abused kids out of the hands of people who like to sexually abuse kids? Someone down there at child services needs horse-whipped.

But don't worry, there is a solution on the horizon that will make sure that no child is ever molested in that building again!

"The Rev. Tim Letsch is opening a church in the yellow-plastered building where the children were abused."

Beautiful...if you were to make this up they would arrest you...at least in Texas.

To All The Idiots Who Think God Had Anything To Do With The Constitution...

2008-06-18T23:53:00.003-04:00

Go to THIS SITE and follow these instructions:

1. Click the "Edit" menu tab on your browser.

2. Scroll down the menu and click on "Find."

3. In the Find text box type: God, Jesus, Yahweh, Allah, Shiva, or whatever imaginary deity you want.

4. Report back to me and the entire country exactly where you find one or more of those words in that fucking document!

Next, go to THIS SITE and THIS SITE and repeat the exact same steps...sorry to burst your ignorant religiofascist bubble but, God had nothing to do with the founding of this country! The founding fathers fought for days to reach an agreement that specifically left all of that bullshit out!

I am incredibly pissed. I have just read another moron blog post where the author says that the USA was clearly based on Christian principles. I am no constitutional scholar, lawyer, judge...I don't even have a college degree. But, it seems plain enough to me that God Has No Place In The Constitution!

Here, you assholes want a constitution with plenty of god-speak? Read this:

"In the name of God, the most merciful, the most compassionate
"We have honored the sons of Adam.
"We are the people of the land between two rivers, the homeland of the apostles and prophets, abode of the virtuous imams, pioneers of civilization, crafters of writing and cradle of numeration. Upon our land the first law made by man was passed, the most ancient just pact for homelands policy was inscribed, and upon our soil, companions of the Prophet and saints prayed, philosophers and scientists theorized and writers and poets excelled." - from The Preamble to the Iraqi Constitution

Now all of you "Patriots" can run off to a "true" land founded on the principles of your god...let's just see how well recieved you are over there.

How To Make 30,000 Guns Disappear

2008-06-18T23:03:00.002-04:00

"Recent data from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) reveals that gun dealers “lost” an average of 82 firearms every day last year – a total of more than 30,000 guns that vanished without a trace from gun shops in 2007." - The Hill

Every single day I read about some new travesty that the "Moral" Right-Wing nutcases perpetrate. They aren't even trying to hide this. One of the guys, Sandy Abrams, is described by regulators as "a serial violator"endangering the public. Mr. Abrams racked up 900 violations, which he did not contest, while sitting on the NRA's board of directors.

After an inspection found 100 missing guns, failures to perform background checks and improper sales records, the ATF decided to give him another warning -- because he was sitting on the NRA's board.

"We were actually bending over backwards to be fair to him," - Jeffrey A. Cohen, assistant chief counsel for ATF.

Look, I have no problem with guns. I support the second amendment with the same vigor that I support the first. It seems that there are reasonable restrictions to both laws...Like not being able to say "Fuck" at 10:00am on a Monday morning during Barney's monologue and, like paying attention to wherever the fuck your guns have gone! Seriously...I hate idiots.

Ray Comfort's Private Art Stash

2008-06-17T14:47:00.003-04:00

This stuff is way beyond ridiculous. In order to use it I have to plug their website...so here it goes:

"Christ Art is the most retarded site I have ever seen. Christ Art should be ashamed of themselves. Christ Art are Jesus-whores."

A robot? What? Is this some kind of argument for circular reasoning?

Rabbit looks like he's about to pwn carrot.

Blatant hemispherical prejudice...shameful.

Cheery!

Cheeseburger? WTF?

Jedi Jesus Fish?! And I thought the Cheeseburger was wierd...seriously? Lightsaber and blast helmet? These guys need some original ideas.

A Word On Inter-League Play

2008-06-17T01:30:00.004-04:00

I love baseball. I love the Phillies. I love inter-league play. I love it for one simple reason. When the AL pitchers have to walk up to the plate in a NL park and try and hit the ball. It's like watching a dog trying to catch a duck on a frozen lake.

Note to AL pitchers: Take a few swings in the cage before the game!

(If you guys missed Bartolo Colon (Red Sox Pitcher) trying to hit against Cole Hammels (Phillies Pitcher), you missed one hell of a show.)

No Vatican For You, Ron Howard!

2008-06-16T15:43:00.006-04:00

Sorry Opie, but the Vatican doesn't want your kind spending millions of dollars inside of their city-state.

"A movie adaptation of Dan Brown’s book, Angels and Demons, is now in production; it is the prequel to the film, “The Da Vinci Code.” There are reports today that the Vatican has banned those associated with “Angels and Demons” from shooting in Catholic churches in Rome or in the Vatican itself." - Via Catholic League

There are many good reasons to boot this movie such as, Tom Hanks and psycho Illuminati bullshit. But Bill "Everyone is out to get the Catholics" Donohue has his own reasons.

“We are delighted that Ron Howard and his Hollywood minions have been denied the opportunity to exploit the Catholic Church again. Any movie about Catholicism which draws on the specious work of Dan Brown is bound to offend Catholic sensibilities, so it was only fitting that Howard was shown the gate."

Works of fiction loosely based on shaky historical premises offend Catholics now? Hmm...interesting.

“Just as revealing is Brown’s comment that ‘Separating Illuminati fact from fiction can be difficult on account of the massive quantities of misinformation that has been generated about the brotherhood.’ This is vintage Brown: mix fact and fiction together, stir well, and throw the stew on the screen. Then hope the gullible bite." - emphasis added

Wow, just wow...The irony is so thick and delicious I think I'll throw it on the grill for dinner tonight...screw you Donohue.

Atheist Wedding

2008-06-14T10:21:00.010-04:00

Just the other day, I proposed to my now fiance, Carrie. She said yes and we are thrilled to get married. We are both humanists at the least, I am a full fledged Atheist and she leans more towards the Agnostic side.

We have talked about marriage many times and have come to the conclusion that we want a completely secular wedding. My sister recently became an ordained "Minister" (one of those online 5 minute deals) and she will be the officiant. There will be no mention of any gods, angels, past lives or even the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

We have our spot picked out, it's on Assateague Island on the Maryland coast. A beach wedding has long been Carrie's dream, and I also love the idea. We chose Assateague because we had both spent a lot of time there, before we knew each other, as kids and teens.

I plan to blog all through the process to let everyone know just how a secular wedding goes down and would appreciate to hear what others think of our plans.

Dark Day for Journalism

2008-06-13T16:14:00.006-04:00

Today Tim Russert has died.

Tim Russert was the host of "Meet the Press" on NBC. Although I did not know the man, I do know that his passing will bring a joyless melancholy across the news media.

This was a hard-working journalist in the purest sense of the word. Never being one to pander to his guests, he asked the questions that no one else would ever even allude to.

I am not old enough to remember much of his career but, for the past two years only a few Sundays went by without me watching his show.

He was an inspiration to all aspiring journalists and, hopefully through his legacy, he will.

“one of the premier political journalists and analysts of his time,” “This news division will not be the same without his strong, clear voice.” --Tom Brokaw

He was also, at least in my opinion of of the most objective member of the TV media.

“My views are not important.” -- Tim Russert

You can see the full story on msnbc's home page.

God Is Imaginary...

2008-06-13T15:18:00.005-04:00

I happened upon this website today: God Is Imaginary. The author lists 50 reasons why god is not real. It's not the most profound website but, he does site chapter and verse to validate his claim. I love it...My favorite is #10 --Watch the Offering Plate.

"Why don't the ministers and deacons of the church gather together every Sunday morning and pray to Jesus for the money they need? Why doesn't Jesus answer their prayers? Why do churches have to beg for money from mere mortals when there is an immortal, all-powerful God who should provide anything they ask for?"

It's a rather simplistic way to look at it but, it's true and it's not the same old greedy church theory. Once again, I highly recomend it...you may even learn something. Also, try visiting the GOD F.A.Q.

He also asks us to help Spread the Word. I'm signing up...always up for defaming the lord almighty. Here's another good quote to end this post:

"On the other hand, if God is imaginary, then religion is a complete illusion. Christianity, Judaism and Islam are pointless. Belief in God is nothing but a silly superstition."

Time To Burn A Bible

2008-06-11T11:03:00.004-04:00

By now I am sure that everyone has heard about the deranged nutbags who burned Harry Potter and generic "pornography" down in Louisiana. I am a bit of a bibliophile and have a few versions of the bible on my shelves, but could never bring myself to burn them. It's not that I really care about the "sin" of it, or the blasphemy...I just can't burn a book any more than I can beat my dogs. More later...

The genius pastor of this flock of -- dodos is defamatory towards dodos -- The genius pastor of these assclowns (that's better), James Crawford, was nice enough to leave his Cell #(318) 218-9836 and email address james@ihop-shreveport.com out there for anyone to spam with pictures of these tracts that I burned:

Anyone wanting to use these images to send to that idiot can go right ahead...

A Resolution...

2008-06-11T01:12:00.002-04:00

"Resolved, that President George W. Bush be impeached for high crimes and misdemeanors..."

-From Articles of Impeachment for President George W. Bush put forth by Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D - Ohio)

It's about goddamned time. Unfortunately, this is going to go nowhere. He tried it before with Vice President Cheney and the matter was referred to the House Judiciary Commitee, where it has floated through political purgatory for seven months.

Give the man his due credit. He is the only one with enough balls to even mention the word "impeachment." One other Congressman was daring enough to cosponsor his articles, Rep. Robert Wexler (D - Florida).

Both of these men should be considered heroes and true patriots. Soft, apologetic politicians like Nancy "impeachment is off the table" Pelosi could learn a thing or two from these guys.

Of course, mainstream media is more interested with McCain's beer veto, and Fox News likes to report on the uber-important issue of the "Brown Note" being used at the Democratic National Convention. I am not even joking. These were two of the headlines on the front pages of their Political sites. It's absolutely sickening that when a Congressman introduces THIRTY FIVE(!) articles of impeachment against the sitting president, they would rather do softball stories that require absolutely no research what-so-ever. I am just a pathetic blogger and have done more reporting on this issue than the big "news" networks.

What does that say about this country's priorities?

There is of course much more to the story. Kucinich read all of his Articles of Impeachment on the house floor...it took him about five hours...dedication.

The rest of your Reps could give a shit less about you, the country, the Constitution, war crimes, torture, illegal wiretaps, etc., etc.

It pisses me off...plain and simple. Goddamnit people wake up and call, write, yell at the people who are supposed to represent you! Otherwise, stop bitching and whining because you have no right. If you know that the Bush machine lied us into an illegal war, if you know that they admitted to torturing at least three people, if you know that they disregarded good intelligence in favor of favorable intelligence and you do nothing about it...what does that make you?

F%*k You McCain...Seriously.

2008-06-10T01:47:00.003-04:00

This needs to be posted and posted and posted, over and over again, all over the place. Someone tell this douche bag that the founding fathers had nothing to do with "In God We Trust!" Someone please beat him over the head with a Thomas Jefferson Biography. This one will work...over 1000 pages should be able to make it through his incredibly thick skull.

How To Keep Warm On Those Long Antartic Nights

2008-06-09T22:31:00.003-04:00

"One of the last shipments to a U.S. research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year's supply of condoms, a New Zealand newspaper reported Monday." -via Reuters

16,500 condoms to be exact. There will be 125 scientists and staff at the McMurdo Base Station during the long, incredibly long -- but, apparently romantic -- night. Somebody is going to be busy.

Let's see...The condoms arrived on June 9th and sunup isn't until August 20th -- that's a whole lotta lovin'.

Seriously, it's good that they provide these condoms for free with no questions asked. No one needs to be embarrassed until the next morning...in 74 days.

Or, they could just do this with them:

Don't Let Your Heart Beat

2008-06-04T23:45:00.003-04:00

"...a hidden world of flawed medical judgments, faulty administrative practices, neglectful guards, ill-trained technicians, sloppy record-keeping, lost medical files and dangerous staff shortages."

That is from a four part series in the Washington Post that exposed the woefully inadequate and immoral medical care given to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). This report convinced some of our more humane lawmakers to call in Michael Chertoff (Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security) to answer some questions.

It seems that a certain Republican lawmaker doesn't like the fact that kindly old Big Brother should be bothered for something as trivial as a bunch of foreigners dying off in ICE prisons. Iowa GOP Rep. Steve King had this to say on The Hill Blog:

"I think it’s safer to be in an Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) facility than it is to be on the streets of Chicago. I think that’s one thing we know. It’s safer to be there than it is to be in the streets of Houston or Los Angeles, or Detroit for that matter."

Well, good for him. I am sure he has put lots of thought into his comments and is not just pandering to isolationist paranoia. Here's some more of his gold:

"I can’t think of a city that’s represented by any of the Democrats who’re on the Judiciary Subcommittee for Immigration that are safer than ICE detention facilities. I think they ought to take a look at the safety of their own constituents. This has turned up because it’s political. If you look at all the New York Times articles, you can get a pretty good idea of why we’re here—not because of any data that supports their argument."

Wow...That's a lot of bullshit for one paragraph. How many GOP talking points do you see there. Democrats, clean up your own backyard (that's one). It's all a political game (two). New York Times Anti-Christ (three)! And of course, there's absolutely no data to back up their claims (four). Unless one reads the documents that the Washington Post was able to get a hold of for their reports.

He keeps going:

"The testimony I heard today doesn’t tell me there’s an endemnic problem; in fact, it says the opposite. But none of the Democrats on that side—the people who brought this hearing—pointed to any data. They are very good at raising anecdotes that causes someone’s heart to beat." (emphasis added)

So the Dems are the ones slinging alarmist drivel across the intertubes. And FSM-forbid that anyone's heart beat! This tool is just one big walking caricature of the Republican party. I would spit on his article but, I don't want to mess up my monitor.

Rep. Steve King, you are an enormous douche bag and should be sent to live inside of an ICE facility for a few months. When you get out, you can tell us all about how great it was not getting the medicine you needed, or the surgery you needed, or the psychiatric care you needed. You can tell us how fun it was to be heavily drugged while being transported. You can tell use how wonderful it felt to be labeled as a psychotic when, in all actuality, you are just a deranged sociopath with no feelings of empathy toward your fellow man. You can tell us how much better it was being locked up than being free.

Honestly, do these people even read what they write before posting it?

Screw You Tiger!

2008-06-04T13:37:00.003-04:00

I haven't written about sports on this blog...until now. A few days ago Tiger Woods said,

"I don't really care...It's all about the Dodgers. I don't think anyone really watches hockey anymore.”

No one watches hockey anymore? Seriously...From SI.com:

"The Pittsburgh Penguins' 4-3 win to avoid elimination against the Detroit Red Wings earned a 4.3 overnight rating and an 8 share on NBC."

I still watch hockey. I love hockey...strangely I also love golf. Given the choice between watching either golf or hockey on TV...well it's just no contest. Hockey wins every time.

Just in case you were wondering, I am a Carolina Hurricanes fan -- a Caniac, if you like (I don't have a favorite golfer). The Hurricanes fan blog Canes Country has a nice Top Ten Reasons Why Hockey Is Better Than Golf: (I think #4 is my favorite)

10. Hockey has better bloggers than golf.

9. Hockey players don’t whine, cry, and pout if a fan or photographer snaps a picture during their backswing.

8. Hockey isn’t postponed because of slightly inclement weather.

7. Lots of hockey players can play golf, but how many golfers can play hockey?

6. How many putts do you think a golfer could make if their opponent was trying to block their shot while they were shooting?

5. Hockey fans get to cheer, yell, boo, and carry on throughout a game. How long do you think it would be tolerated if golf fans synchronized a chant….. TIGER……TIGER……TIGER……YOU SUCK!!

4. When is the last time a golfer broke a nose or lost teeth during play, but came back to finish the match?

3. Most hockey players are classy and would never intentionally disrespect an entire sport and it’s fanbase when asked a simple question.

2. There is no penalty box in golf for unruly behavior.

and the number one reason?

1. The NHL has Gary Bettman, Colin Campbell, and the best officiating in all of sports!

(Okay, would you believe 9 out of 10 reasons?)

Thanks to Canes Country & Bubba

Damn Spanish Zombies!

2008-05-27T11:32:00.003-04:00

I love Spain...Some of them are really trying hard to atone for that whole "Inquisition" thing...

From Reuters:

A procession of devils, ghosts and zombies through the historic Spanish city of Toledo has been branded blasphemous by the Catholic Church.
Actors from the Morboria theatre company performed a representation inspired by the medieval Dance of Death in Toledo's streets on Saturday, provoking an angry reaction from the cathedral pulpit the following day.

"We ask forgiveness for those who yesterday insulted the body of Christ," said Archbishop Antonio Canizares, quoted in newspaper El Pais.

He told worshippers the procession, which also included a Virgin Mary and a Saint Peter, made a mockery of the Catholic celebration of Corpus Christi.

"This feast and all it means are much bigger than this belittling and rolling about on the streets," Canizares said.

A representative of Morboria said the actors had been well received by most passers by except for one small group who told them off and said they would pray for them.

"We were hired by the town hall," said Morboria's Eva de Palacio.

Long one of Europe's most traditionalist countries, Spanish society has become one of its most socially liberal since the death of dictator Francisco Franco in 1975. The Socialist government of Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero has angered the Church by legalizing gay marriage, making divorce easier, and reducing the Catholic influence over education.

Toledo retains a reputation as one of the most conservative towns in Spain. It was once home to a permanent office of the Spanish Inquisition, which had more painful methods of dealing with blasphemy than those available to Canizares.

(Reporting by Jason Webb; Editing by Matthew Jones)

I usually won't repost news articles in their entirety, but this one had everything I love. Zombies, whiney clergy, "mockery of the Catholic celebration of Corpus Christi," etc. If anyone can find some pictures...that would be sweet.

Santorum's Shite

2008-05-27T10:58:00.005-04:00

Ricky is at his usual gay-bashing self today in an op-ed in the Philadelphia Inquirer. Many people will easily rip apart his homophobia...but there is one quote in particular, that has me a touch angry...

So Santorum Says:

"Let me go out on another limb here and make another crazy prediction. Within 10 years, clergy will be sued or indicted for preaching on certain Bible passages dealing with homosexuality and churches, and church-related organizations will lose government contracts and even their tax-exempt status."

Let me go out on a limb and say, "Church-related organizations should never have had government contracts!" In which country do we live? I don't care if they pay taxes and don't discriminate against those not like themselves...Thomas Jefferson said "wall" between church and the state. WALL!

Screw you faith-based initiatives. Screw you Santorum. Screw your "bigoted(!), hate-mongering(!), homophobic(!)" logic. I cannot wait for the day when Rick gets caught with his secret boy-toy. It's only a matter of time.

Short Note On Tillman

2008-05-22T11:05:00.004-04:00

Recently, beliefnet described Pat Tillman as a good 'ol Christian boy. Apparently, there is evidence that points the other way. His family has been described as "nonreligious." When I hear nonreligious, I think of agnostics and people who just don't like going to church...not atheists. So, before everyone gets all whirled into a frenzy, foaming at the mouth about Pat being an atheist, maybe some first person evidence would be nice.

We (atheists) all hate it when Einstein and Darwin are called Christians and when Hitler is called an atheist. Before you start labeling Pat Tillman as an atheist...make sure you have facts, goddamnit. This guy and his family have been through way too much bullshit for a bunch of people who can't be satisfied letting the man rest in peace without giving him an affiliation screaming at each other over the kid's table.

Reading his biography on the Pat Tillman Foundation site doesn't mention anything about his religious leanings. The closest it gets to talking about Pat and religion is this:

"He was known for his well-thought out questions, which he used to stir up conversations in topics ranging from international political systems, world religions, or more trivial matters like the best type of sausage or merits of a good latte, to the personal concerns of his friends."

Admittedly, I haven't researched this story too carefully...this is just an off-the-cuff post. If there is good evidence that shows Pat as an atheist I would love to see it...As a matter of fact, if there is evidence of any kind that shows his religious beliefs one way or the other, I would love to see it.

Two Minutes Hate #2 on "Ergo"

2008-05-21T01:21:00.005-04:00

Ergo Must Go

Anyone using the word "ergo" should be drawn and quartered. It is perhaps the most pretentious word in the English language. Those who use it must have some sort of "short-man" complex...Why the hell else would you say/write it!?

This may be hard for some of the ergoers to wrap their minds around but, every time you say, Ergo, blah blah blah" most people just put you on mute. If you are on mute, no one can hear you, ergo, there's no reason for you to say, "Ergo!"

Here is a bold statement:

"Ergo must go!"

Anyone willing to join me? ... Anyone?

Here are a few alternatives to be used in place of ergo...For the love of English please, please (!) use them:

"Therefore -- Consequently -- Hence"

This is the only good use of ERGO.

Yet Another Excuse

2008-05-21T00:28:00.002-04:00

Sorry there have been no posts lately. Heretincess and I were away, concerts, family...whatever. I will try to be a better blogger...stay tuned

BTW: Saw Hatebreed Sunday night...ears still ringing...sweet.

More Disillusionment With Metal

2008-05-15T00:42:00.007-04:00

As I Lay Dying are easily one of my favorite bands. I go see them live whenever I get the chance and am constantly impressed with their musical talent. I know that they are all a bunch of Jesus-Johnnies and I was comfortable with that, until today...

While looking for summer music tours to check out this season, I stumbled upon the line-up for Cornerstone Festival 2008. I already know that it is a Christian music fest and seminar. They do it every year and if one was a Christian, one would have a kick-ass time, I am sure. It's a three day festival. Shocked, confused, angry...As I Lay Dying is playing at friggin' Cornerstone this year! Seriously, first the bullshit Ozzfest announcement and now this?

I have long been aware that the members of As I Lay Dying are Christians and that doesn't bother me when measured up against how freaking bad-ass this band is. But, they have always assured us that they are not a "Christian" band.
From their website:

Are you guys Christians in a band or a Christian band?
I'm not sure what the difference is between five Christians playing in a band and a Christian band. If you truly believe something, then it should affect every area of your life. All five of us are Christians. I believe that change should start with me first, and as a result, our lyrics do not come across very "preachy." Many of our songs are about life, struggles, mistakes, relationships and other issues that don't fit entirely in the spiritual category. However, all of these topics are written about through my perspective as a christian.

...and:

How can you be a Christian band and go on tour with bands who represent themselves as evil, satan worshipers?
We hope to intelligently represent a faith that has been very misrepresented in the entertainment industry. There isn't much diversity of thought within metal music and I believe it is important for people to understand opposing views before drawing conclusions. I hope other bands and their fans have an open mind and respect for what we are saying, so it's fair for them to expect the same from us. If truth is the basis of our belief, then the questions other bands/fans have are an important way to understanding what/why we believe. Most of the bands we tour with would never hear a well represented explanation of Christianity if we just stayed home.

All that is just well and good and cute. Playing Cornerstone means you are a goddamned Christian band! I feel dirty. I feel lied to. I feel decieved. It's a shame because they are an awesome band. They are never preachy in their lyrics, at least not so far, nor are they preachy on stage.

I used to let the Xtian thing slide, but, I am not sure I can do that anymore. I would have had far more respect for the band (although I never would have bought any of their albums, which may be what the deception is all about to begin with) if they had just sold themselves as a Christian act. Will I keep listening? Maybe...but it will be awhile and I definitely will not be buying any new albums they may come out with.

Here's an analogy to end this post:

As I Lay Dying : Metal : : Intelligent Design : Science

What The Hell, Ozzy?

2008-05-14T00:21:00.003-04:00

So Ozzfest is bullshit this year. Shame, shame, shame. One day crapfest in Dallas. Some of us used to look forward to Ozzfest every year...not this time. I am not even going to try and go. Here is the press release.

What a bunch of horse shit. The Heretic-ess and I have other plans, at least through June...Here, I will share them with you:

May 15th --> Helmet w/ ASG, H.O.W. & Cowtrop @ Volume 11 in Raleigh
May 18th --> Jagermeister Tour w/ Hatebreed, Type O Negative, & 3 Inches of Blood @ Rams Head Live in Baltimore
May 24th --> Black Stone Cherry w/ Kentucky Headhunters @ Veteran's Memorial Park in Mt. Airy, NC (yes, apparently Mt. Airy is "Mayberry" from the Andy Griffith show...wtf.)
June 4th --> Straight Line Stitch, St. Diablo, & The Autumn Offering @ Zakk's Coffeehouse in Murfreesboro, NC
June 7th --> NC Metalfest @ Lincoln Theater in Raleigh
June 10th --> Dark Tranquility w/ Divine Heresy @ Lincoln Theater in Raleigh
June 14th --> Zoso @ Lincoln Theater in Raleigh
June 29th --> Summer Slaughter Tour...The Black Dahlia Murder, Kataklysm, Cryptopsy, The Faceless, Despised Icon, Aborted, and plenty more @ The National in Richmond
July 20th -- Rush in Charlotte

And we will fill in any gaps with anything else we can find!

Fuck Ozzfest...It used to be a tradition for the lady and I. We have gone together every year since we met....shameful. But, this lineup is looking better and better every day...and I have no doubts that they are cheaper!

I would encourage like-minded metal heads to check out these shows. Especially Summer Slaughter...should be more than bad-ass!

One more time...all together, now: Fuck Ozzfest!

Two Minutes Hate #1

2008-05-11T23:41:00.003-04:00

"Two Minutes Hate" is where I will direct two minutes of email writing to a particular person, organization, school, etc. every week. This is where one can find all of the childish things that I want to say everyday. If you like insults...here ya go. If you like lots of swearing...here ya go. If you like anger and sarcasm...here ya go.

I have no misconceptions that any of my hate-mail (if you want to call it that) will make the slightest difference to the people/places I send it. These mini-rants are not meant to be complete thoughts or even comprehensible, but they will make me feel better. Who knows...it may even make some of you feel better...or at least give you a cheap laugh.

Since I owe the title to this post to 1984, I may as well borrow some more inspiration from it to guide my first hate; Unperson...start the clock:

Dear God,

*ahem*

Fuck You.

Who do you think you are? For too long now, your influence has gone unchecked. I, for one, am tired of seeing your sickeningly disfigured thumb print on this planet. Every single time I turn around, it seems that you or your idiot followers have found some new way to piss me off. Day after day after day evidence of your existence wanes and evidence for the mental deficiencies of your "flock" multiplies.

"God is great, God is good..." blah fucking blah. What kind of insecure, unstable megalomaniac do you have to be to need this kind of unrelenting praise. And you-forbid if anyone should actually call you out on your atrocities. Just the other day you saw fit to kill tens of thousands of people in a cyclone. I am sure most of them didn't deserve to be drowned and pummeled to death...but somehow your followers and apologists find a way to sweep the blame from your doorstep. How is this possible?! How are you allowed to get away with it? Why is it wrong for you to be blamed? I have so many other things I could yell to you right now, but my time is up. I will go out back and yell at the empty sky.

Again...Fuck you, asshole.

Thus ends the first of Heretic's Altar's "Two Minutes Hate." I am not sure where God gets his email so I am sending it to god@gmail.com, Ray Comfort, The Pope, and The 700 Club.

I hope you have enjoyed this and if not, complain about it to me and if you're lucky...maybe you will make the hate one day!

Sorry...Test necessary

2008-05-11T22:37:00.001-04:00

necessary test...apologies

Ray-Bashing Friday II

2008-05-09T13:20:00.004-04:00

Ray, Ray, Ray...How humble you are...Publishing your intimate prayers online...Jesus would be proud.

6But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
-Matthew 6:6 (KJV)

Mr. Comfort full of pride...you disgust me. Your prayer disgusts me. You are a liar and a bigot and a hypocrite.

Fun with Ray's prayer. Let's Madlib!

"(Name), I want to take a moment to thank you, with every ounce of (pasta type) I have, for saving a/an (animal) like me. I truly once was lost, but now I’m (emotion). I was blind, but now I (verb). This (noun) is completely inadequate to express my (bodily function), so what I can’t put into words, I will put into (plural noun). However long I have left on the earth will be used to (verb), especially to reaching out to (adjective) people. I pray, along with my (dog breed) brethren, for the unsaved who read this--that they will (verb) and trust (Proper noun) before it's too late, and come to know (Singer's name), whom to know is eternal life. In (random deity)'s name, Amen."

I know it's not perfect, but it is the first...They'll get better, I promise.

Here is what Carrie and I came up with:

"Lou, I want to take a moment to thank you, with every ounce of fagioli I have, for saving an Alpaca like me. I truly once was lost, but now I’m distressed. I was blind, but now I swim. This barn door is completely inadequate to express my gleek*, so what I can’t put into words, I will put into trees. However long I have left on the earth will be used to drive, especially to reaching out to plump people. I pray, along with my Shih-Tzu brethren, for the unsaved who read this--that they will point and trust Ireland before it's too late, and come to know Cher, whom to know is eternal life. In Uranus's name, Amen."

Nothing like a little blasphemy to start your weekend! Thanks for making me feel smart, Ray!

(*)In general, gleeking occurs when an accumulation of saliva in the submandibular gland is propelled out in a stream when the gland is compressed by the tongue. The stream of saliva is released in the general direction of the front of the mouth. If the mouth is open the jet may project several feet. Gleeking is more likely when the salivary gland has been recently stimulated, but even a residual amount of saliva in the gland may be released by gleeking. -Wiki

Zany Sunnah of the Day III

2008-05-08T11:04:00.003-04:00

First of all, I apologize to anyone who hasn't been receiving my posts. Google is nuts and I have no idea why it is happening. I have asked questions but have yet to be answered.

Now to the fun part:

This is one of my true favorites. It shows just how valuable a woman's life really is.

Volume008, Book 082, Hadith Number 815.
-----------------------------------------
Narrated By Abu Huraira and Zaid bin Khalid:

While we were with the Prophet , a man stood up and said (to the Prophet), "I beseech you by Allah, that you should judge us according to Allah's Laws." Then the man's opponent who was wiser than him, got up saying (to Allah's Apostle), "Judge us according to Allah's Law and kindly allow me (to speak)." The Prophet said, "'Speak." He said, "My son was a laborer working for this man and he committed an illegal sexual intercourse with his wife, and I gave one-hundred sheep and a slave as a ransom for my son's sin. Then I asked a learned man about this case and he informed me that my son should receive one hundred lashes and be exiled for one year, and the man's wife should be stoned to death." The Prophet said, "By Him in Whose Hand my soul is, I will judge you according to the Laws of Allah. Your one-hundred sheep and the slave are to be returned to you, and your son has to receive one-hundred lashes and be exiled for one year. O Unais! Go to the wife of this man, and if she confesses, then stone her to death." Unais went to her and she confessed. He then stoned her to death.

Now we can all see how sheep and slaves are insufficient payment for the sin of adultery. One must be beaten! Unless, of course, one happens to be a woman. Women must be killed for adultery! They should consider themselves lucky. A whole year of exile? That is just barbaric! It's probably the reason why Muslim men aren't exiled very often these days...although Muslim women are still sentenced to stoning for adultery.

When you think about it, it really is the only fair way. I mean, sheep? Seriously, sheep are too valuable to be given away.

(I feel the need to write that underneath my sarcasm lies a deep-seeded revulsion to the insane, misogynistic and just plain cruel laws of Islam. It literally makes me nauseous.)

Zany Sunnah of the Day!

2008-05-07T09:00:00.002-04:00

In this Sunnah we are told about The Prophet's sweet tooth. How lovely!

Volume 007, Book 069, Hadith Number 504.
Narrated By 'Aisha :
"The Prophet used to like sweet edible things and honey."

Profound...simply mind blowing. I am at a loss for words so...yeah.

There is more to this Sunnah than just his appetite. It seems that The Prophet's youngest wife* decided to make fun of him and made all of his other wives say his breath was stinky. He attributed it to honey...turns out that little Aisha was lying because she was jealous of one of his other wives (how childish!) and The Prophet went ahead and vowed to never again eat honey...even though it was something called Maghafir (gum of the Mimosa) that he had actually eaten. It's a touching and heartwarming story that I will revisit in the not too distant future.

(*)-She was six or seven when they were married but, like the gentleman he was, he waited until she was nine before consumating the marriage. Seriously...

Penn Jillette Makes MSNBC Cry

2008-05-07T01:55:00.004-04:00

You have got to be friggin' kidding me. I watched this earlier this morning (technically yesterday morning...but whatever Tuesday morning) and as usual got excited to hear from Penn Jillette on politics. The guy is wonderfully hilarious and any time I get the chance I am going to see him and whats-his-face perform. Here's the clip: (Keep watching to see the hosts' "After the break," reaction.)

I can't freaking stand it when people bitch and whine when they get someone who may be famous for saying "controversial" things to appear on their show, and then get all whiny when said guest says something controversial!

Good for Penn, booo on Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, and booo on overly sensitive asshats who can't take a goddamned joke.

Zany Sunnah of the Day!

2008-05-04T19:19:00.004-04:00

Yet another new feature to the Heretic's Altar.

A Sunnah is a saying from Hadith. Hadith are Islam's sort of rule books. Hadith are transcriptions of what one guy said some other guy told him that one of his great-great-great-great-grandfather's friends heard from The Prophet. Hearsay as a guide to law...wonderful. (I may be mistaken, and if I am someone surely will politely correct me.) The collection I am using is known as the Sahih Bukhari and the software is called The Hadith Software by Islamasoft Solutions.

Here is the first of the Zany Sunnah!

Volume 001, Book 004, Hadith Number 139.
Narrated By 'Abbas bin Tamim :
My uncle asked Allah's Apostle about a person who imagined to have passed wind during the prayer. Allah's Apostle replied: "He should not leave his prayers unless he hears sound or smells something."

Only leave if you are absolutely sure...It just gets better from here...stay tuned folks, I will try to get one of these out a day.

New Weekly Feature...Ray-Bashing Fridays

2008-05-02T22:24:00.006-04:00

The purpose of this new weekly posting is simple...I really, really dislike Ray "Where Should I Stick This Banana?" Comfort. In my eyes he is one of the most devious and comically manufactured propagandists for the xtian nut cases. I regularly read his blog postings -- I'm a bit of a masochist I suppose -- and they routinely make my blood boil. Everything from make-believe stories about atheist conversions to the divinity of tree fruit is laughable, yet sickening. Sickening because there are probably more people reading his dreck who believe it than those, like me, who find it's only value in being printed into toilet paper.

Ray is without a doubt one of the worst human beings to walk the face of this planet. From his complete and total disregard for earthly truth, to his incomprehensible rantings on morality and science*, he spews his filth ad nauseum for the groveling "masses" to mop up with their Jesus-addled brains. Any person who would knowingly suppress the simplest truths of nature and science* is, in no uncertain terms, Evil.

The first page of his website asks a person to take a test entitled "Are you a good person?" Undoubtedly most people think they are good people. The first section of the tests asks you about how well you have stayed in line with the ten commandments...simple enough. His "thou shalt not murder" question is described not in what most people think of as murder...no, no, no, that would be to easy to agree to. So the question is preempted by "God sees hatred in the heart to be as wicked as murder." Obviously if we have ever hated anything we are guilty of murder (I hate people who put mayonnaise on cheesesteaks...Therefore, I am a mass murderer). To put it simply, there is no way in hell that anyone will be named a good person if answering his test realistically. Just for kicks, I answered how supposedly a "good person" would answer. Of course, I got the same outcome as if i had answered guilty to all of his queries. One quote was especially funny:

"Can you see your predicament? You are guilty of sinning against God Himself, and, because you have a conscience, ("con"=with, "science"=knowledge) you have sinned "with knowledge.""

I am not sure that he is trying to equate science with sin...but I wouldn't put it past him.

The page then goes to the garbage page about saving yourself. More propaganda:

"Becoming a Christian is the most incredible event that will ever take place in your life."

More insane inanity:

"When a young man once looked at me and said, "I find it hard to believe some of the things in the Bible," I smiled and asked, "What's your name?" When he said, "Paul," I casually answered, "I don't believe you." He looked at me questioningly. I repeated, "What's your name?" Again he said, "Paul," and again I answered, "I don't believe you." Then I asked, "Where do you live?" When he told me, I said, "I don't believe that either." You should have seen his reaction. He was angry."

Well no shit he was angry. I would be angry having to explain my existence to some asshat wannabe sky fairy prophet.

"Then I told him that if he, a mere man, felt insulted by my lack of faith in his word, how much more does he insult Almighty God by refusing to believe His Word."

Well, boo-freakin'-hoo for the almighty. That poor guy never gets any of the credit he deserves.

I am not even going to address this disgusting analogy, which he seems to love to repeat once or twice a month in his blogs.

Ray revels in the fact that his faith is unshakable. He also claims to be able to "disprove" atheists...but you first must buy his book, of course...But Ray's not all bad, he'll even come to your church! (If you give him a "love offering, let them set up a book shop (heh...market in the temple?), purchase two round-trip, non-stop tickets from and to LAX, hotel for two, and at least 1000 people must attend.) Good old selfless Ray...Makes you wonder what he would accept for a "love offering."

That about sums up my first "Ray-Bashing Friday" post. I hope you have enjoyed it. I hope a copy makes it to Mr. Comfort. I would just like everyone to know that this is for attacking Ray Comfort. I don't want to be nice to him...I could care less about being polite. I feel very strongly that Ray Comfort is just as extreme as any suicide bomber or mega-church Southern Baptist firebrand. His irksomeness is only compounded by his "nice guy" persona...and his little boy-toy Kirk "I am not Mik e Seaver" Cameron.

Until next week...I don't have a catch phrase yet...but I will find one, don't you worry about that!

(*) I am not a scientist. I am not an expert in evolution. However, it seems that I know more about evolution and natural science than Ray...and that's just bad...I'll address these things in later postings.

Happy National Day of Idiocy

2008-05-01T11:47:00.003-04:00

I'll keep this short. I think Pharyngula said it best when he said:

"Fuck the National Day of Prayer."

Amen Brother.

National Day of Reason

Hillary Doesn't Hate Atheists?

2008-04-30T00:01:00.005-04:00

For the moment, at least, it seems to be true! Hillary has an ad campaign here in NC called NCaskme.com. On that site you can ask her questions about her stance on any issue you like. She claims that she will answer as many as she can every week. So, I gave it a shot. I asked her this:

"Do you think one's right to disbelieve in God is protected by the same laws that protect someone else's right to believe? Please speak directly to us atheists and help to mitigate the fears that we have of being run out of the public debate."

I did not expect any sort of answer from her or her campaign...But, I received a call just the other day from her NC campaign headquarters! Color me shocked and awed. Here is what the campaign had to say in response to my question:

"This is the Hillary Clinton campaign of North Carolina.

I wanted to let you know we did receive your question through ncaskme.com.

And I wanted to let you know also that while Hillary is a devout Methodist and she is religious she does not plan to inject that into the way she governs this nation, because she does realize and respect...people respond to different things and they may not believe in her religious beliefs. So, that's not one of the things you should be concerned about the way she governs this country."

It is somewhat patronizing and generic...However, it is also a direct answer and one that I am glad to have. I know that it is too soon to hope that things like "The Compassion Forum" will become political fossils of a bygone age of religious pandering but, here it is for everyone to read and remember.

I wrote an email to Obama on the same day asking the same question. His campaign has yet to respond.

Who the hell has ever heard of a "devout Methodist" anyway?

On Golden Compass...

2008-04-29T23:39:00.003-04:00

The lady and I redboxed this movie today. Luckily we reserved it online in advance because it was sold out at the kiosk. The box selling out of a new release is nothing new...It just makes me take notice because of where we live. Here in small town North Carolina, a movie like The Golden Compass should be the subject of all of the angry xtian soccer moms boycott alert emails. This time they surprised me (This particular redbox is in a grocery store that usually has it's parking lot full of SUVs and mini-vans).

Congratulations Apex...I am proud of you.

P.S. We really liked the movie...acting could have been better in some spots...but pretty good all the way through. I really hope they make the two sequels...wait and see.

No Balls For You

2008-04-25T12:54:00.006-04:00

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.

Really? I find it hard to believe that these or these are offensive. They would be far more offensive and nasty if they had whiskers and hair...perhaps discolorations and veins. But, as far as I am concerned it's just another reason for a politician to get his name in the news. Honestly, why else would someone sponsor a bill the he has said will not pass and will become a non-story in a few days.

I am not sure what else to say...I am not angry, just confused. Here's the Reuters story. Here you can find all kinds of worthless information about FL Sen. Carey "No it's not a girl's name" Baker.

One more thing:
There is a lovely little poll over on the Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed Myspace page. Go crash it! As of 6:40pm EST -- 25378 total votes; 660 Yes (2.6%); 23760 No (93.62%). Showing that the only people who really seem to care about Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed are people who are opposed to it. Hilarious. Thank you Pharyngula.

Here's The Plan

2008-04-24T08:57:00.000-04:00

Everyone by now, should know that I am new to this blogging thing...so this post will serve as my formal introduction, a sort of preview of things to come and a sometimes reminder to myself. I find it's a touch easier to write when I have some junk like this.

Intro:
My name is Parker Thomas. Here I have resided in a suburb of Raleigh, NC for just about four years. I have a wonderful, supportive and beautiful long time girlfriend -- Carrie-- who loves to live in sin with me in our quaint little house...white picket fence and everything.

I am at a crossroads in life...not knowing exactly the correct career path to take. A year ago, it was easy. I was going to be a chef. Have my own restaurant, great reviews, nothing too trendy...my own paradise. However thanks to a few asshat bosses, one in particular, and getting burned (not literally) at a couple local restaurants (I refuse to work in a chain restaurant) I am now on a sort of hiatus from the pro kitchen. I still cook at home and for friends and from what I am told I do a pretty good job...although I always like to stay modest and humble about it. There is a surplus of cocky jerk-ass chefs running around this country, all of them claiming to be the best. I eventually will get back in to the restaurant world...but it will be on my terms.

I had been diagnosed with certain type of bipolar disorder around three years ago after many years of going to, and paying for, many money hungry psychologists and psychiatrists. It is with the help of Carrie, therapy and a touch of medication that I can keep myself nice and level-headed. I have come to the conclusion that mental health is no different than physical health and I will never again hide my illness nor be ashamed of it. To me there should be no difference between a chronic illness such as asthma and bipolar disorder.

There are many things that offend me. Many things that for one reason or another make my brain boil. Here's a small list:

-Religion (More to come on that later)
-The Designated Hitter Rule
-Ray Comfort
-People who will not read
-Scapegoatism (New word? Dibs.)
-The current state of US government
-SUVs
-People who drive SUVs who think they are better than me/you
-People who drive SUVs and think they are Honda Civics
-Bloggers that seem to do nothing but copy and paste from other's work
-Not being allowed to fucking swear at VA Beach
-The many, many large and small things that certain restaurants do or don't do (complicated)
-etc., etc.

There are also many things that give me great enjoyment...Here's another small list:

-Lists of stuff
-Kayaking
-Carrie
-Our dogs
-Blasphemy
-Good Pizza

-Being able to not complain at a restaurant
-Politics
-Metal
-Writing Poetry (Here is a little...)
-Getting tattooed
...and a bunch of other crazy shit.

Here we go with the religion. I despise organized religion no matter how peaceful or docile it may seem. Anytime I see it used as an excuse for some degenerate's actions it enrages me. Anytime I see parents put their children's lives in danger it enrages me. Anytime someone says, "Bless you," after I sneeze or thanks god for sparing their house while their neighbors have all been crushed by a falling roof after a storm...enrage again. The fact that people shout the praises of their imaginary friends whenever something good happens to them while shrugging off tragedy with an, "It was all in his plan," enrages me. In fact, there are too many enraging items to list right now. Rest assured that rage will fly...I promise.

On a later post I will explain all about how I was won over by the dark side. Those always make for good stories.

Finally for this post, I will try to lay out how I would like structure this blog. This is just a kind of rough outline and I will probably change it all the friggin' time. I will do my best to get out at least three new posts a week. I promise to never leech from other's blogs, or cut and paste news stories in their entirety just to fill a self-imposed quota. (There seems to be too much of that going around the sphere.) Below is a list of what I would like to try to do...the only one that is a concrete recurring theme is the Wednesday post:

-Weekly Religious News Roundup (cheesy, but could be interesting)
-Angry Diatribes (definitely a regular occurrence)
-I will post anything atheist related event I can find (so email them to me or whatever if you would like me to post your event)
-Wednesday is going to be reserved for "Ray-Bashing Wednesday" (I love to bitch about him to friends and Carrie...only fitting that I post it)
-Books, books, books (from all walks of life)

And of course, I will sometimes just post whatever the fuck I want! I'm not big on pictures or video...but we may see them. Like I wrote, for the time being I would rather not be tied down to a certain schedule. We'll see what happens...

Note: I am well aware that this is not a "popular" blog at the moment, and frankly I am not overly concerned whether it becomes a hit or not. I rarely do anything to try and earn fame and this is no exception. Heretic's Altar gets posted through Planet Atheism and perhaps I may find other methods of distribution. So for the few of you who do subscribe or read this blog from time to time, thank you very much. I like this whole writing thing, and blogging lets me do it without the structure and rigid expectations of fiction and poetry.

If you do like what you read here, please send it along to friends and enemies. More to come about my life, my views and hopefully some things that may actually be interesting. I promise to revert back to the sarcastic prick that I usually am on the next post.

thanks,
parker

Out Of Touch

2008-04-16T23:14:00.004-04:00

I apologize for not writing for the past few days. I promise as soon as I get back from California there will be plenty of xtian bitch-slapping to go around. I am planning a weekly feature in which I take one of our very favorite apologists and antagonize him...It should be loads of fun.

Check back in a week...things will be wonderful. Don't forget that Expelled opens on Friday.

thanks

You get no thanks from me Ms. Davis

2008-04-11T02:21:00.000-04:00

Good for Mr. Sherman...he received his apology. Time for the rest of us Rep. Davis!

I am not ready to let this woman off of the hook just yet. She apologized to one man for insulting an entire group. It reminds me of the South Park episode where a kid said something to the effect of; "Jesse Jackson is not the emperor of black people." Implying that just because one person has been appeased does not mean the entirety of the offended have been so.

So, I wrote her another email (first email). It's not nice...but then again, I am not nice -- at least when it comes to this sort of thing. I am posting it here so it will hopefully end up being seen by more than Monique's trash pile.

Enjoy:

Ms. Davis,

Thank you for your half-hearted apology. Justification for your "apology" was a school shooting. While we all feel for the victims of such a shooting, I find it hard to believe that such a hot-button excuse should fly in this world. Cho Seung-Hui murdered many of his classmates but I could not find any Virginia government official yelling at atheists. Maybe it would have been more productive if you had yelled at the people who actually shot the students! An excuse is an excuse...and your excuse is nothing but blood-red lipstick painted on a hideous pig. The rationalization that one incident gives you license to disparage a segment of the population of this country -- which had absolutely nothing(!) to do with the shooting -- is tantamount to blaming a broken shovel for the poor showing of a large pumpkin in a county fair. None of it makes sense. Scapegoating? Was that your idea?

Maybe I am being to harsh. Perhaps Mr. Sherman was just the first person you came upon and the first person in the position to take your rage. In that case, if you were so incredibly angry, do you not think that you should have left the office that day? Is getting so angry really going to help your state? I feel, and I am sure many other Americans feel that insane diatribes should be left out of the public discourse...especially on EDUCATION!*

I still consider you a bigot. I still consider you a hypocrite and now I can consider you an opportunist for using a tragedy to justify your peculiar and unwarranted hate speech.

I wanted to stay away from the obvious...the obvious parallel to you being a black woman of age to remember the awful injustices suffered by your people at the hands and mouths of angry overzealous politicians in the not too distant past. You must also remember the sacrifices and public humiliations of those who fought for your causes. In your mind, perhaps, you can see no corollary to the struggle of secularists to the struggle of blacks. Secularists have never been enslaved in this country. "Heretics" have suffered horrifying and grotesque crimes against them for thousands of years. Do they not deserve equal treatment to you? Are atheists and agnostics second class citizens? I can only hope that I have over exaggerated.

Many of us feel that your apology falls incredibly short in aspect to your offense. You not only wronged Mr. Sherman, you wronged an entire community...a minority community. Keep that in mind next time you seek reelection.

thanks

I am going to keep writing Ms. Davis...

*Rep. Davis is Elementary & Secondary Education (Vice-Chairperson)

(thanks to Rob Sherman for the update)

Ms. Davis: Thanks for the Kickstart

2008-04-10T05:40:00.000-04:00

I am pretty sure that anyone who keeps up with the atheosphere knows what Rep. Monique Davis has done. In short, she spewed bigoted religious filth all over Springfield, IL. Reading some of the other blogs on the subjects has left me with a touch of despair and anger...at my fellow atheists. How some of you can simply ask for her to be rebuked or politely ask her for an apology is beyond me.

In my world the religious zealots like Davis would never go for a polite reply to a mirrored situation. Alonzo Fyfe sheds a good deal of light on the subject:

"A legislator is a representative of the people, yet there is a law-abiding segment of the population that she has substantially said she will not represent because they have no right to representation. She will not consider their interests in future legislation. Furthermore, she cannot be expected to protect and defend the rights of this segment of the population when she denies that they have any rights."

Alonzo is fast becoming a personal hero. As far as Davis is concerned, I am of the "fight insult with degradation" mindset. So, keeping in mind that I am writing to a government official, I fired off this email (a nice heat-of-the-moment style posting) and sent it to both the addresses I could find for her: mdavis2147@aol.com & mdavis@hdsmail.state.il.us

Ms. Davis,

You are absolutely the most contemptible public servant in the state of Illinois. You are supposed to serve the public...the entirety of the public. In case you have not heard, atheists are part of that public. Your ignorant and offensive tirade on Mr. Sherman was inexcusable. Had you spewed that filth from your mouth to any other person of any other faith, you would be out of a job for the rest of your life. It seems luckily for you that your diatribe has been flying under the radar of the mainstream media for the past few days. Keep in mind that things like this do not stay hidden forever. You can count on atheists, freethinkers and those who live by the First Amendment of the US Constitution will do everything in their power to paint you as the bigoted ultra-conservative sycophant that you are. Hiding behind your "D" label is sickening. Portraying yourself as an educator and acting in the way you did is nothing short of disgusting. You are a bad person and a bad representative of the American people. I hope that the rest of your term is as uncomfortable and biased as your tongue lashing of Mr. Sherman was. Apologize to Mr. Sherman and all atheists or resign...Those seem to be your only two choices.

Because you may have forgotten: First Amendment to the US Constitution

End your silence and explain yourself.

I am not overly confident in a response. Hopefully, others will write similar letters. Hell, if you want you can copy and paste mine...just make sure she gets it!

Here are a few personal thanks: Thank you Atheist Ethicist for getting my juices flowing and thank you Rep. Davis for getting my blood boiling. This is my first blog post on Heretic's Altar...I was waiting for that one particular item that I felt would be a good starting point.

thanks

Uhh...

2008-04-04T00:34:00.000-04:00

New Posts Will Be Coming Soon...I promise...hang in there for a few more days. Thanks.

Heretic's Altar

Suess Vows

*Speechless*

I'm Back and Ready To Break Somebody's Balls...Huckabee? O.K.

What a Shitty Anniversary...

Flood of Biblical Proportions In Our House!

Bush's New Drinkin' Buddy

The Faith of My Father's...Oh, And Mom, Too Pt. 1

Any Proselytizing Here? Sir, No Sir!

"Support Our Troops"

McCain is to Iraq as Bush is to The Alphabet (hint: Clueless)

More Excuses For Not Writing

The Big Wheel Keeps On Spinnin'

Even Heretics Need Family

Proper Civil Discourse With Jehovah's Witnesses

Ray, You Twat!

Return of Ray Bashing! Yay!

Cuss-o-Meter

Ok, You People Are Idiots

Woo! 50 Posts! Here's Something Funny For You...

Gay People Will Kill Your Children...

God Is Good, God Is Sadistic...Let Us Thank Him For Our Cancer

Homosexual Athletes?!

June 30, 2008

The Dangers of Auto-Replace

Wedding Ink...

Proper Use Of Xtian Propaganda

"Presbyterian Action Will Not Stand Silent blah, blah, blah..."

A Very Special Anniversary

Dragons Are Real!

Wedding Countdown

Safe Haven Laws

This Just Goes From Bad To Worse...

To All The Idiots Who Think God Had Anything To Do With The Constitution...

How To Make 30,000 Guns Disappear

Ray Comfort's Private Art Stash

A Word On Inter-League Play

No Vatican For You, Ron Howard!

Atheist Wedding

Dark Day for Journalism

God Is Imaginary...

Time To Burn A Bible

A Resolution...

F%*k You McCain...Seriously.

How To Keep Warm On Those Long Antartic Nights

Don't Let Your Heart Beat

Screw You Tiger!

Damn Spanish Zombies!

Santorum's Shite

Short Note On Tillman

Two Minutes Hate #2 on "Ergo"

Yet Another Excuse

More Disillusionment With Metal

What The Hell, Ozzy?

Two Minutes Hate #1

Sorry...Test necessary

Ray-Bashing Friday II

Zany Sunnah of the Day III

Zany Sunnah of the Day!

Penn Jillette Makes MSNBC Cry

Zany Sunnah of the Day!

New Weekly Feature...Ray-Bashing Fridays

Happy National Day of Idiocy

Hillary Doesn't Hate Atheists?

On Golden Compass...

No Balls For You

Here's The Plan

Out Of Touch

You get no thanks from me Ms. Davis

Ms. Davis: Thanks for the Kickstart

Uhh...

Speechless